As of yesterday, Van Halen — who reformed earlier this year, for roughly the 10,000,000,000th round, this time with David Lee Roth up front once again — has indefinitely postponed almost the entirety of their summer tour. After their June 26th show in New Orleans, 30 dates across the US have been canceled. Why? Because they hate each other, of course. No, like, actually, that's why. Rolling Stone (via Vulture): "Nearly all of the tour is promoted by Live Nation, whose reps wouldn't comment. The band's rep also had no comment. A source with knowledge of the tour tells Rolling Stone that Van Halen's members 'hate each other.' Adds the source, 'The band is arguing like mad. They are fighting.'"
This is an interview with Sammy Hagar. It's exactly what you probably expect. I might have pushed him too hard on the Van Halen stuff, but it felt interesting to me. He is a friendly, loquacious dude, although not especially revelatory (which is probably more my fault than his). Hagar's autobiography, Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock, is now available in paperback.
Ronnie Montrose was never as famous as his peers. He is the lost ‘70s guitar god — the massive-sounding riff facilitator on the most memorable Edgar Winter Group release (1972’s They Only Come Out at Night) and one of the strongest eponymous debuts no one ever talks about, 1973’s Montrose.
Bill Simmons: This is my favorite Super Bowl commercial ever. Back in 1992, I desperately hoped it would start a trend of big brands using smoking-hot women to strut in slow motion while purchasing their products, a trend that should have started back in the mid-1980s when Tawny Kitaen was rolling around on top of David Coverdale’s Jaguar in the “Here I Go Again” video (even if that wasn’t an ad). Every television ad has one goal: to make us stop whatever we’re doing and keep watching the ad until its completion, while also noticing whatever product is being pimped (and maybe even subconsciously wanting to use that product). I’d argue that this Pepsi ad accomplishes that. Seeing Cindy in slow motion in her prime almost made me like Pepsi, a product that I’ve hated over the course of my life more than any product other than Heineken. Cindy didn’t spark a glut of commercials with smoking-hot women strutting in slow motion for no real reason whatsoever, but maybe there’s still time. I just hope Heineken doesn’t try this idea with Kate Upton.
If you told the 14-year-old me, having just listened to the newly released OU812 for the ten-thousandth time, that in the year 2012 Van Halen would not only be putting out an album, but reuniting with David Lee Roth (in fulfillment of the Scriptures), well, he probably wouldn't have heard you because he'd be practicing the intro to "Hot for Teacher" on his black Kramer with the Floyd Rose tremolo. But if you angrily yanked the cord from his Marshall mini-stack and said, "Dude, LISTEN TO ME: In 24 years DLR is getting back with Eddie and Alex, and Sammy's a premium-tequila mogul!" well, then you'd have his attention. (Though halfway through that sentence he'd already be trying, and failing, to stick the landing on the last hammer-on run. It's a bitch.) So it seems appropriate to hop in the time machine, knock the guitar out of his hands, and demand that he provide a running diary of "Tattoo," the first video released from the reunited VH's upcoming album.
Van Halen performed at Café Wha? last night. It’s possible you’ve already heard reports of this, since Café Wha? only holds 250 people and just about every single person inside the venue was a journalist, an industry bozo, or a former Wimbledon champion (John McEnroe was there). This event was partially the result of Café Wha? being previously owned by David Lee Roth’s 92-year-old uncle, but it mostly happened because Van Halen assumed unfathomable intimacy would be an easy way to remind the media that they’re still awesome. The stage was about 15 feet long and eight feet deep; in 1981, it’s possible Roth could have touched the ceiling with his foot, or at least with his samurai sword. It was a little like watching Darryl Dawkins dunk over Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on a Nerf hoop in your grandparents' basement.
Usually, the Grammy’s comical goof-ups involve their oft-baffling nominations and awards. Now, though, hilarious Recording Academy President/CEO Neil Portnow has hit upon a bold new initiative to make people not take his organization seriously. It’s called “announce that you’ll be announcing the reunion of an ‘iconic band’ during the Grammys telecast, and then never actually announce anything.” Good one, right?
