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GRADING THE CHARTS

Grading the Top 10 Country Songs in … CANADA!

By Molly Lambert at

1. Jake Owen, "The One That Got Away"

Jake Owen brings John Mellencamp-style heartland rock to Cocoa Beach, Florida. This video had a Proustian meta-effect, where the more times I watched it, the more nostalgic I felt for the first time I watched it an hour ago.

Grade: B

Best YouTube Comment: "this song is so sad I felt this way once" — dariandozier

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SONGS OF THE WEEK

Grading The Week's Top Country Songs

By Molly Lambert at
Dierks Bentley
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

There are multiple Americas and in at least one of them nobody cares about Watch The Throne, techno music, or pop stars whose breasts ejaculate fireworks and/or whipped cream. I'm talking about the "real" America, where the beer tastes like water, the water tastes like chemicals from the old mill, and banjos are a rock instrument. These are the Top Ten songs from Billboard's country chart. Love, pain, and partying.

1. Zac Brown Band feat. Jimmy Buffett, "Knee Deep"
Does it never occur to the makers of songs about tropical escapism that it is completely possible to be bummed out at the beach? Featuring Jimmy Buffett, the king of tropical escapism, this song is hilariously manic-depressive, veering between aggressive optimism and brutal melancholy, just like somebody on rum drinks! Grade: B

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