US Justin Timberlake's Bachelor Party: "Bros, brews and bow ties!" Timberlake celebrated "his final days of singledom" with all his closest dudes. "Clad in ties and fedoras, his crew of 25 pals (and his dad!) hit Las Vegas, where they tossed back drinks poolside." Justin probably brought his dad so that we'd all know this was a clean-cut bachelor party where no hookers would end up buried in the desert by the end. "It was like Boardwalk Empire." So it was kind of boring but looked really nice and probably cost a ton of money? "It was mellow. Intentionally so." They jetted from Vegas to Mexico where they played beach volleyball in T-shirts that said "CASTRATION CELEBRATION!" Sigh … "He didn't want to get in any trouble. Jessica's brother was with them!" Could this be a decoy bachelor party meant to distract from the real bachelor party that will take place soon in a sex dungeon in Amsterdam?
Mitt Romney on Snooki: "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." She's voting for Obama.
John Mayer & Katy Perry: At a party in the Hollywood Hills a "bikini-clad Katy Perry" chilled out, "grabbed a beer and clung tightly to John Mayer in the swimming pool. They hugged each other and splashed around. They were all over each other, making out! Neither of them is exactly shy." The pair are not only hooking up, they are "officially dating," hence the lack of trying to hide it, or maybe they just realized they wouldn't be able to avoid being outed by paparazzi right quick. Whatever. Katy girl, get your roots-rock divorce rebound hump on. Just do us a big favor and tell John Mayer to stop wearing that Rolling Thunder Revue hat everywhere. We get the whole hipster Americana thing already. While Mayer has a reputation as a manipulatively romantic womanizer incapable of keeping his mouth shut or his pants on, the 34-year-old guitarist claims he has changed his evil ways and is ready to grow up. He recently told Rolling Stone, "I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time. Now I feel like I'm extremely open to love." I'm sure Taylor Swift is thrilled to hear that.
Silver: Brad Pitt should just forget about mass-appeal fare like Moneyball and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. He’s so perfectly suited for characters that exist on the fringes — 12 Monkeys, Fight Club, Inglourious Basterds, and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Even if they’re expansive thematically and visually, Pitt is a performer who shines when he’s more understated, so smaller, more intimate narratives like Killing Them Softly play to his strengths. With KTS, Pitt reunites with Jesse James writer/director Andrew Dominick, and looks at ease playing a sleazy enforcer called in to “clean up” after a gangster’s card game gets held up. Although this film feels a little cheekier, it definitely exudes a Drive vibe. Like Nicolas Winding Refn, Softly director Dominick appears to have infused his offshore sensibilities and visuals into this inherently American story (Dominick is from New Zealand). I’m also looking forward to seeing Pitt and James Gandolfini onscreen together again. The two of them had terrific chemistry in Gore Verbinski’s underrated The Mexican.
A couple of weeks ago, during a quiet afternoon in the Grantland offices, I noticed Hollywood Prospectus editor and general sadist Mark Lisanti glancing back in my direction. The look on his face could best be described as “devious,” and from his spot two cubicles away, he did a slow Dr. Evil spin of the chair before uttering six terrifying words:
“I have an idea for you.”
As the office movie-going fanatic, I’d already opened myself up to Lisanti’s cruelty once before. The result was about eight pounds, 40 points on my cholesterol, and 90 minutes of Katherine Heigl that I can never unsee. This time, the look on his face was just as menacing.
Demi: "From the way Demi Moore was behaving on one January night, she may as well have been a college kid at a dive bar on spring break." The 49-year-old actress "looked out of her mind" partying with her 23-year-old daughter, Rumer. "She was dancing wildly, lifting up her shirt to show off her six-pack. Just desperate for attention. She was trying to seem sexy and cool." At an after-hours kickback in her Beverly Hills house, Moore smoked "an incense-like substance" (possibly the legal faux-marijuana Spice). "Everyone there thought she was going to die." She was treated at an ER. "Demi's life is in complete crisis. She has spiraled since her split from Ashton. She has no idea who she is or what her life should be." Her split from Kutcher "sent Moore's deep-rooted insecurity about aging into overdrive." "Once Hollywood's hottest and highest-paid actress," Demi viewed daughter Rumer "as her clubgoing wingwoman and an entrée into the young Hollywood scene." A friend of Rumer's says, "It's so weird." Demi has been "chasing" Zac Efron. She "tracked down the actor at a party" in Venice. "She just showed up, and everyone was pretty freaked out. They thought it was weird she would hang out with people half her age. She calls him and texts him a lot, but he's not interested at all. He thinks she's a creepy cougar." Oh no, not the C-words! "She seemed out of her mind at this party." At Beacher's Madhouse "a sloppy Moore danced on tables." A few nights later she chugged 10 Red Bulls. "She always wanted to seem young and fun to keep up with Ashton's friends. Her age made her feel insecure enough, but if she was sober as well, she felt like she was a killjoy." She "turned to bizarre beauty treatments, like using leeches." You mean like Jenna Maroney on last week's 30 Rock? "She would do anything to stay youthful."
Katy & Russell at the Golden Globes: Katy "really did want to go out, but she was worried about running into Russell." He is working on a third book, which she fears will expose intimate details of their marriage. "Katy is insulted and feels betrayed that Russell has treated her so poorly by lying about how he wanted to handle the split and not giving her a warning that he was filing for divorce." Sure. "She will never forgive him. Ever." Brand spent this week hanging at Soho House and crashing a wedding at the Hotel Bel-Air. "He's being so atrocious that she feels like she never really knew him." A gentleman would go the hell back to England.
