Chuck Klosterman thought long and hard about why time-shifting sports ruins everything, no matter how warm the bonhomie outside a place like Wembley Stadium might be. Dave Eggers was as enthusiastic about his love for Wrigley Field as Tom Bissell was confused about how to receive Rockstar's latest "game-changing" release, L.A. Noire. Elsewhere in culture, Andy Greenwald asked whether there was anything creepily Hogwartsy about The Super 8 Director Mentorship Academy. (The answer? Yes.) And finally, Bill Barnwell and Jay Caspian Kang sung the ballad of Dirk in poetry and numbers, and world-class homer -- and, um, our editor-in-chief -- Bill Simmons rediscovered his love of hockey just in time for a Bruins Stanley Cup Finals win.