In Wednesday’s sports-nickname news, it looks as if the New Orleans Hornets are changing their name — to the New Orleans Pelicans.

Finally.

My joy in this decision is less a result of believing the Hornets name needs to be back in Charlotte where it belongs (really, guys? "Bobcats." Why not pick something you're known for, like the "Charlotte Airport Rocking Chairs") and more from the fact that pelicans are incredible animals and the perfect nickname for a franchise trying to find its proper identity. In the interest of time, here are 17 no-brainer reasons why I'm #TeamPelican and you should be too.

I have no metric to really quantify how bad the Philadelphia Eagles defense has looked this season other than "a couple dozen."

I have slammed my head into a flat surface "a couple dozen" times since this season began, watching missed tackle after missed tackle, carving "WEAPON X. 1996-2008" into my arm.

Oh my God. What a great Philadelphia Eagle. Look how he runs up to players on the opposing team and knocks them down! I feel like that is such a sound defensive philosophy. Hit dudes!