There’s really no way to out-joke this press release from the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs, so I’ll just bold the really good parts.
Take it away, Southern Maryland Blue Crabs PR Department:
- “In the wake of the devastating 45-10 loss that the Denver Broncos endured against the New England Patriots in the AFC Divisional game on Saturday, January 14, the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs will be inviting Broncos quarterback and football sensation Tim Tebow to throw out a first pitch on Thursday, June 21 before the Blue Crabs take on the Somerset Patriots at Regency Furniture Stadium. To make the deal more enticing, the Blue Crabs have already booked the intriguing “Cowboy Monkeys”, who wowed fans with a show at Mile High Stadium on December 18 during halftime of the first meeting between the Broncos and Patriots.
‘Tebow has undeniably been the story of the NFL season this year. He and the Broncos made a great run, but as we all saw, Tim doesn’t exactly have a Tom Brady arm. And we’d like to help him with that as he enters the off season. Plus we’ve got our own Patriots in the Atlantic League, and they’re pretty darn good too, so we could use a little bit of Tim’s magic. They have been crowned Atlantic League Champions 5 times in the past 11 seasons. To make the invite more attractive, we’ve even booked the Cowboy Monkeys which have been a national sensation themselves! All the more to set the stage and get Tim’s mojo back!’ Said Blue Crabs Assistant General Manager Brian Radle.”
Because, sure, why not. He’s got nothing else to do.