Whenever I want to know someone's true character, I ask them a very important question: Michael Phelps or Ryan Lochte? If they say Phelps, I know they're a little goofy, a little quirky, and maybe dangerous. If they say Lochte, they're calm, ambitious, and maybe dangerous. If they say they don't follow competitive American swimming, they're lazy, ignorant, and probably afraid of water.