In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
- West Virginia broke the record for most points scored in a bowl game with a 70-33 win over Clemson in the Orange Bowl. It was an ignominious end to the season for ACC football, but at least the conference can count on great basketball teams like Duke to restore its reputation against non-conference opponents.
- Khalif Wyatt scored 22 points and Temple shot 56 percent from the field as the Owls upset the no. 3 Duke Blue Devils 78-73.
- Thomas Robinson had 15 points and 14 rebounds as no. 15 Kansas physically dominated no. 22 Kansas State 67-49. On the other hand, the "boring name" portion of the game ended in a dead heat between Robinson and KSU coach Frank Martin.
- Despite trailing by 17 points in the second half, no. 9 Georgetown put together a dramatic rally to top no. 20 Marquette 73-70. The Golden Eagles seemed to lose their composure the minute they realized that head coach Buzz Williams had been replaced on the sly by comedian Jim Norton.
- LeBron James struck for 33 points, 13 assists, and eight boards as the Miami Heat coasted past the Indiana Pacers 118-83. "I bet this will finally make people like me," said James, who immediately logged onto the Internet and googled "LeBron James sucks," expecting all the old pages to have vanished.
- A double-double from Chris Paul (20 points, 10 assists) led the Clippers past the Rockets 117-89. NERD ALERT! Now presenting, a nerd: "That's great and all, but in real life a clipper ship would never beat a rocket. The propulsion created by the liquid fuel and exhaust make a rocket capable of speeds that would dwarf even the fastest nautical ship. It's also capable of moving in space, where there's a total lack of oxygen. I'd like to see a clipper ship do that. Unlikely, I'd say, since it totally depends on wind. NerdLaughterNerdLaughterNerdLaughterHaughtyNerdLaughter."
- Lars Eller scored four goals as the Montreal Canadiens rebounded from a tough road trip with a 7-3 win over the Winnipeg Jets. Man, Eller must have done some wicked ice skating to get four goals! Am I right, other people who don't really follow hockey?
- With a long kick into heavy wind (3:45 here), Everton's Tim Howard became only the fourth goalkeeper in English Premier League history to score a goal. But where was that against Ghana in the World Cup, Howard?! More like Howard the Coward, scoring when it doesn't matter. Am I right, other people who don't really understand soccer?
- Though he admitted to having a "little setback" with his left ankle against Cleveland, Ben Roethlisberger says he'll be ready to play this weekend at Denver. However, his words were undercut by the fact that he was pulling himself along the locker room floor using a complex system of ropes and pulleys.
Read more of The Triangle, Grantland's sports blog.
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