In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports this past weekend.
- The San Francisco Giants narrowly avoided a four-game sweep behind Tim Lincecum's 7 2/3 innings. Nothing could deter Lincecum on Sunday — not even getting hit by an errant bat. This differed from Lincecum's non-pitching days, when he can be deterred by almost anything. Such as the faraway stare of Wicked Timothy, the doppelganger in the mirror who stands motionless for hours at a time.
- Adam Scott won the WGC-Bridgestone Invitationall with Tiger Woods' ex-caddie, Steve Williams. Scott finished at 17-under 263, four shots ahead of his nearest competition. Although Tiger initially coped well with his own mediocre performance, the situation deteriorated Sunday night when he tried to call his ex-wife's house and Adam Scott answered the phone.
- NASCAR's Brad Keselowski won at the Pocono Raceway, despite driving with a broken ankle. His victory was almost as impressive as that time Ken Jennings nailed the final Jeopardy! question despite a sore hip.
- According to reports, the Atlanta Hawks are being sold to Alex Meruelo, a California entrepreneur who owns a pizza chain and a hotel in Reno, Nev. The sale will finally answer a nagging question for Meruelo — what's more depressing: eating crappy pizza in Nevada, or owning the Atlanta Hawks?
- Dan Uggla extended his hitting streak to 28 games Sunday as the Atlanta Braves clipped the New York Mets 6-5. Since the streak began, Uggla is batting .355 with 12 home runs, and is reporting a 35 percent decrease in teammates giving him noogies and chanting "Ugg-la duck-ling!"
- The Pittsburgh Pirates lost their 10th straight game, falling 7-3 to the San Diego Padres on Sunday. "Ten games?" the Seattle Mariners said condescendingly, when they were informed of the losing streak. "That's so cute, guys. Nice job!"
- Nani scored two goals to lead Manchester United to a 3-2 win over Manchester City in the annual Community Shield game Sunday. Without the all-important Shield, Manchester City will now have to ritually sacrifice a top player to avoid being murdered by an angry English mob.
- Jake Peavy pitched eight shutout innings as the Chicago White Sox topped the Minnesota Twins 7-0 to sweep the weekend series. At this point in the season, no team in the AL Central has outscored their opponents on the year. But as along as they're having fun, their parents don't really mind.
- In one of the season's best duels, Ervin Santana pitched into the ninth inning and Felix Hernandez allowed just four hits in eight innings as the Angels beat the Mariners 2-1. Santana helped his own cause with some fantastic defense in the third inning to stop a Seattle threat. That play in particular infuriated Mariners manager Eric Wedge. "Seriously?" he yelled from the dugout. "Defense?! That's kind of our thing, dude. It's kind of our only thing."
- Prince Fielder and the Milwaukee Brewers completed a sweep of the Houston Astros with a 7-3 win Sunday. The Brewers are now the hottest team in baseball, having won 11 of their last 12 games. The Astros, meanwhile, have been mathematically eliminated from making the playoffs for the next 17 years.
- Jeff Francoeur had the web gem of the weekend, nailing Detroit's Jhonny Peralta at third to preserve a 4-3 lead in a game the Kansas City Royals eventually won. The amazing throw rattled Peralta so much that his first name was briefly spelled correctly.
Shane Ryan is a staff writer for Grantland. Follow him on Twitter @TobaccoRdBlues.
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