In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
- The NFL fined Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh $20,000 for a late hit, in a preseason game last Friday, on Cincinnati quarterback Andy Dalton. Suh was fined twice last season for hits on Jay Cutler and Jake Delhomme, and the NFL is watching closely in case his pattern of bad behavior ever crosses the line and affects a good quarterback.
- Cliff Lee earned his 13th win and the Phillies gained a measure of revenge for Tuesday's ninth-inning loss with a 9-2 rout of Arizona. The winner of tonight's rubber game will have a strong claim as the NL's toughest team, and also, by a strange MLB bylaw, a similar claim on the mining rights of several small towns in Nebraska.
- Ohio State president Gordon Gee apologized to "The Little Sisters of the Poor" for a joke he made at their expense last fall. Gee apparently compared small-conference schools like TCU and Boise State to the Ohio religious order. "Sorry about that," he told the nuns. "I acted like a real Mormon."
- Barcelona won the Spanish Super Cup with yesterday's 3-2 win over Real Madrid. Messi scored two goals and assisted on a third, and the teams had a bench-clearing incident after Madrid defender Marcelo's questionable tackle in extra time. A tearful Marcelo told reporters he regretted his actions, but that sometimes teammate Cristiano Ronaldo's epic douchiness is so strong it permeates his core and controls his actions.
- David Price pitched eight shutout innings as the Rays topped the Red Sox 4-0. In post-game comments, Tampa manager Joe Maddon said his team still has a shot at a playoff run despite trailing Boston and New York by 8 games. The only possible obstacle is the commissioner's office, who could still reject his plan to quietly move to the AL Central.
- U.S. President's Cup captain Fred Couples wants to pick Tiger Woods with an at-large selection, but would like to see him add another tournament before the November competition. Ideally, Couples said, that tournament would be one where Tiger Woods suffered an injury so he didn't have to pick him and lose the President's Cup.
- David Wright's clever play at third and Dillon Gee's behind-the-back grab helped the Mets take down the Padres 7-3. All in all, it was the team's first successful step in becoming baseball's Harlem Globetrotters, right down to Angel Pagan's two base hits using a metal snow shovel.
- The Twins beat the Tigers 6-5 thanks in part to a spectacular over-the-shoulder catch by Ben Revere. But before we go comparing Revere to Willie Mays, let's all take a long, deep breath, collect ourselves, and consider the fact that the unbelievable play might make Ben Revere the greatest baseball player of all time.
- A botched home-run call and a series of questionable strike calls by home plate umpire Chad Fairchild doomed the Yankees to a 5-4 loss in Kansas City. It just goes to show what we've always known- the Royals get all the breaks.
Follow Grantland on Twitter and check out our page on Facebook. Click here to read more on The Triangle.
Contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org