I have only hazy memories of my time in the tri-state (PA, N.J., DE) area, but I could have sworn I once spent an otherwise forgettable night in a South Jersey watering hole with a guy who looked A LOT like Chris Christie and, dollars to doughnuts, I would bet this dude had a tattoo of Kerry Kittles on his arm. But then I could be wrong.

Looks like I am. On Monday night, the New Jersey Nets played their final home game in the Garden State. And did Christie, the governor of that fine state, shed a tear and call a press conference where he proceeded to make a Kevin Johnson–esque plea for the Nets to stay in Newark? Um … no. He did not do that.

OK then!