You know what play-by-play sports commentary needs more of? LASERS. Here's a Portuguese announcer Nuno Metas's reaction to Cristiano Ronaldo's game-winning, 74th-minute goal against Holland. The 2-1 victory over the Dutch, and Germany's defeat of Denmark in the other Group B match of the day, sent Portugal through to the quarterfinals. This guy sounds like he gave birth to a herd of magical unicorns while having an epidural of pure adrenaline pumped into his body. Let me get out my thermometer … yeah, my man has Euro fever. Personally, I would have preferred a Funkmaster Flex bomb-drop sound effect somewhere in there.

But I usually prefer Funkmaster Flex bomb-drops with … well, anything, really. Take a listen (spotted over at the indispensable 101GreatGoals):