Pretty much every morning, About Last Night provides you with the essential sports headlines that you need to know. This is not one of those mornings.
- The Spurs defeated the Lakers last night, 84-82. This was the first and final appearance of Pau Gasol Hero Ball. Gasol missed a corner 3 to win the game. Lakers fans were their usual measured selves following the defeat:
BREAKING NEWS: Lakers power forward Pau Gasol has been traded for cocaine and smush parker...
— Mohamed Souleiman (@MohBeFast) November 14, 2012
Pau Gasol Hero Ball should only be a home arcade game sold in Spain.
— Marco Romo (@Marco_Romo) November 14, 2012
None of this worried Pau too much, since he had the ghost of Dennis Hopper with him in the locker room to serve as his vision quest guide.
- The Florida Marlins were traded to the Toronto Blue Jays. Finding himself alone in the Marlins locker room, with nothing but some original wicker furnishings from the set of Golden Girls to comfort him (sidebar: Was Golden Girls set in Miami?), Giancarlo Stanton decided to have himself a nice little Network moment.
- Ben Roethlisberger, whose last name I did not have to spell-check for the first time in 18 months, has himself a busted shoulder. Mike Tomlin described his availability for this week's game against Baltimore as "in the questionable category." I've got nothing to add, so I think I'll post this amusing pic of Ben and Mike being intense with one another:
- The honeymoon for Royce White and the Houston Rockets would appear to be over. If you want a more intimate understanding of Royce White's particular health issues, please check out the Grantland Channel video tracking his battle with anxiety on NBA draft day.
- Michigan State continued their season-opening magical mystery tour in Atlanta, defeating Kansas, powered by Keith Appling's 19 points.
- Perhaps last night's most important news: Thomas Robinson returned from his two-game Jerebko decapitation suspension to do this: