In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
- Penn State trustees met regarding the scandal that has overtaken Penn State football. The New York Times reported that the university is planning Joe Paterno's exit. Amid the growing furor on campus and around the country, Bobby Bowden delicately suggested that the best solution for everyone involved would be for Paterno to vacate, say, 40 wins or so.
- The St. Louis Cardinals have interviewed Terry Francona for their open manager position. The hour-long meeting, which was only the first round, mostly consisted of testing Francona's ability to angrily slap a beer out of a pitcher's hands.
- David Stern's latest proposal was rejected by the players on Tuesday, but they requested another meeting Wednesday to discuss revenue sharing before Stern's deadline, at which point he claims the owners' offer will get worse. It's tempting to call Stern's tactics "bullying" rather than "negotiating," but it's important to remember that he has made sure to veil all threats of violence thus far.
- The New England Patriots have cut ties with Albert Haynesworth. While they appreciated his commitment to being fat and lazy, they've decided to go in a different direction.
- James Harrison and Ray Lewis will likely be fined by the NFL for illegal hits during Sunday's Ravens-Steelers game. Both players understood and respected the fine, but said it was worth the money for the sadistic pleasure of possibly causing severe damage to another human being.
- For the first time since his prostate cancer surgery last October, St. John's head coach Steve Lavin returned to his team's practice on Tuesday. In his absence, Gene Keady's combover scored 12 points and grabbed 6 boards in St. John's win over William & Mary on Monday.
- The Dallas Stars beat the Washington Capitals 5-2 to extend their winning streak to four games and deal the Caps their first home loss of the season. The Stars own the best record in the NHL, which, due to the league's revenue problems, is now for sale on eBay.
- Northern Illinois improved its record in the MAC to 5-1 with a 45-14 blowout win over Bowling Green. It's the greatest shock to Bowling Green since that time the bowling green was closed for bowling because it wasn't green.
- In other MAC action, Toledo set a school record with more than 800 yards of total offense in a 66-63 win over Western Michigan. Despite sounding like an awesome idea in theory, Western Michigan's "defensive stilts" strategy proved to be a cumbersome failure.
Read more of The Triangle, Grantland's sports blog.
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