In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
- Aaron Rodgers threw
threefour touchdown passes and the Green Bay Packers improved to 9-0 with a 45-7 victory over the Minnesota Vikings. I'm trying to suppress a decade's worth of media influence here God help me I'm not strong enough BRETTFAVREBRETTFAVREBRETTFAVRE.
- Joe Paterno's name has been removed from the Big Ten Championship trophy. Unfortunately, it was too late to change the basic design, which depicts a life-sized golden replica of Paterno handing out a smaller golden trophy, also shaped like Paterno, to a third, even larger Paterno.
- As expected, the NBA Players Association rejected the latest deal from the owners, and are now planning to disband the union and file an antitrust action against the league. It's all going according to plan for the Minnesota Timberwolves, who are hoping to get the top seed in the Western Conference after a fluky one-game season.
- Eight ranked teams were victorious in college basketball Monday night, a group that included Big East powerhouses UConn and Syracuse. They beat Wagner and Manhattan, respectively, showing yet again that college basketball is dead in New York City, but alive and well in depressing backwaters like Storrs and Syracuse.
- Leonard Ellerbe, an advisor to Floyd Mayweather, is claiming that Manny Pacquiao's people won't even discuss a long-awaited megafight between the two boxers. "All they ever want to discuss is 'Breaking Bad'," Ellerbe complained. "I get it, it's a good show, but give it a f------ rest already."
- Craig Kimbrel of the Atlanta Braves and Jeremy Hellickson of the Tampa Bay Rays have each been named Rookie of the Year. Kimbrel will hold the trophy on Mondays and Wednesdays, Hellickson on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they'll alternate weekends for the rest of their lives.
- The NFL is looking into a possible fine for a verbal altercation between Rex Ryan and a Patriots' fan during the Jet's 37-16 loss Sunday night. After the fan told Ryan that Bill Belichick was a better coach, Ryan cursed him out. The fan captured the exchange on video, and immediately sent Belichick a text message reading, "Objective 458 has been completed."
- In football injuries, Matt Schaub is out for the year with a Lisfranc fracture (foot), and Michael Vick broke two ribs on the second play of Philadelphia's 21-17 loss to Arizona. The Lisfranc fracture is named after 19th-century surgeon Jacques Lisfranc de St. Martin, while ribs, of course, are named after an excellent food item.
- According to sources, Matt Kemp is close to agreeing to an eight-year, $160 million deal with the Dodgers. Unfortunately, according to the terms of the McCourt divorce settlement, he'll have to spend the first five of those years serving as Jamie McCourt's cabana boy.
Read more of The Triangle, Grantland's sports blog.
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