Monday, October 31, 2011
About Last Weekend: The Ballad of Halloween
By Shane Ryan
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports last weekend.
On Halloween Morn we gather the bones of the clashes
Burn up the skeleton weekend and scatter the ashes.
The fins from the Florida tip whom combatants adore
gnashed their frail teeth at Giants
, then washed up ashore.
While black-and-gold men cut from steel in the cradle of Penn
Shot holes through the Patriot flag
on the back of Big Ben
From the waterless lands of the desert, a red bird took flight
To challenge the Raven — alas,
nevermore to alight
Warlike-Ndamukong shall meet with commissioner G
discuss all the ways of his evil
and then be set free
And dreams of a title for Clemson
were cleaved at the neck
Far from the valley of death by the Rambling Wreck
Though flawless to date, so too did the Wildcats croak
Not later, but Sooner
must they on a single loss choke
Yet launching offensives from inside equestrian wood
Stanford waged war on the Trojans and
Hordes of the Cardinal faithful have gathered in prayer
implore Prince Albert to stay
, though their coffers are spare
As the Kingdom of Pinstripes, a land ripe with silver and gold
Made offers to CC
, but lo, the Big Bear was cold.
Thus has a weekend been passed in the dark world of sport —
Macabre legions of men in a stark, brooding fort.
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