Each week, the Fantasy Island contestants will submit a preview for each of that weekend's games. The best preview from each game will be selected and combined with the others into one comprehensive guide, and points are awarded based on how many individual previews from each writer are selected. Get it? OK. We sorta do, too.
Each week, the Fantasy Island contestants will submit waiver wires detailing their recommended pickups. The best waiver column will be published and awarded points as part of Grantland's ongoing contest to select our fantasy football writer. Get it? OK. We sorta do too.
DISCLAIMER: This column makes big assumptions and expresses strong opinions. Please understand: I do not speak for all the women in the world. Just every woman I know.
As many of you have correctly guessed, I spend just as much time reading gossip rags as I do watching football (OK, fine, it was exponentially more until recently). Having said that, I’m a genuine football fan, and these days, having washed up here on Fantasy Island, I am necessarily required to be equally immersed in football and pop culture. And so every Monday morning, it is both delightful and a total insult when THIS shows up on E! Online’s “Top Stories” (and THIS the week before, and THIS the week before that). Some quick research shows that Comcast — providers of the NFL RedZone package that competes with DirecTV — owns the E! Entertainment network. And there, my friends, is the product I’m supposed to approve in the household budget after I read E! Online’s weekly recaps.
The NFL execs are no dummies (except Goodell). They clearly understand how close they are to doubling their fan base if they can lure women into the tent. They know how much more cash is in play if they turn the ball-busting wives into the same drooling, glassy-eyed robots the husbands are. They offered us nothing but baby clothes for a long time, but they’ve since evolved. Their NFLshop.com product line includes pink hats, jerseys, and baby tees. They celebrate boobies by wearing hot-pink socks a month out of the season. They rent the charming little Manning boys out to me 30 seconds at a time.