Chris: Rem, when it comes to watching tennis, Brooklyn Decker is the greatest. She's Alexander. She's Sonny Liston. She's Jack Dempsey. There's no one like her. Her style is impetuous, her defense is impregnable, she's ferocious. She has our heart. I think she wants to eat our children.
Rem: KEEP GOING, CHRIS.
In one of my very favorite Real World seasons, London in 1995, there was a cast member named Jay who was totally boring — his routine consisted of staying up late to watch TV every night and then napping on the couch for most of the day. In other words, he was the realest reality character that I've ever seen. When I idly daydreamed about being on Real World, I figured I'd be just like Jay: lazy, content to lounge around in a ridiculous house, and sure to feign sleep anytime drama unfolded.
I feel much the same way about Andy Roddick.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Today, we'll be auditioning an assortment of new characters who have contacted us about being part of About Last Night. If any of them have tremendous popular appeal, they may become a regular part of the ALN universe.
Andy Roddick announced last night that he will be hanging up his spurs whenever he completes his run at the U.S. Open. The 30-year-old, once America's great tennis hope, leaves the game with a U.S. Open trophy (2003), four other Grand Slam final appearances (including a legendary clash with his fremesis, Roger Federer, at Wimbledon in 2009), $20 million in prize money, and Brooklyn Decker on his arm. He also leaves behind an incredible collection of press conference appearances. Because even when Andy Roddick lost on the court, he won in the media room. For those about to quip, we salute you:
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Editor's Note: During this year's Australian Open, tennis legend Rembert Browne will report back after each round with the things you missed while you were sleeping, at work, or attempting to raise a family.
Rembert's Note: The only thing more fun than playing tennis in a yellow Diadora short-set is standing on your couch in a yellow Diadora short-set while watching tennis on your laptop in 1080p.
1. The second round was the stage for the 14th meeting between once-important rivals Andy Roddick and Lleyton Hewitt. Both men, Grand Slam winners and top players in the pre-Federer/Nadal era, post-Sampras/Agassi years (2001-03: tennis' "Houston Rockets" years), were looking to channel their younger forms to make this a competitive match. And for the first time in a long time, these two men were taking part in the match everyone was excited to see. Unfortunately (and slightly predictably), it was an anticlimactic letdown, with Roddick retiring before the start of the fourth set. Classic Roddick. At least he's consistent.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
The Tuesday after Labor Day might actually be the worst Monday of all, marking as it does the end of summer, the start of school, the first day back from vacation. And for anyone who had Labor Day tickets to the night session at the U.S. Open, it must feel extra rough: Play stretched well past everyone's bedtimes, with Roger Federer and Juan Monaco not walking off the Arthur Ashe Stadium court until after 1 a.m. on the ultimate school night.
But Federer and Monaco weren't to blame; the Swede's Federer's 6-1, 6-2, 6-0 victory clocked a crisp and efficient 74 minutes. (You got the sense the man wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed.) The real culprit was a highly anticipated Round of 16 daytime match between no. 8 Mardy Fish and no. 11 Jo-Wilfried Tsonga that turned into a 3-hour-and-45-minute-long momentum-swinging marathon.
There is nothing quite like watching Andy Roddick speak to the press. The hair on your arms stands at rapt attention, you begin to lean forward in your seat, and your face slowly curls into a half-smile, half-grimace — the universal expression for ohmygodwhatamiwatching. What a jerk! you think. And then: But he's got a point!
Having waited out Hurricane Irene in North Carolina following last week's Winston-Salem Open, a tournament in which he was upset in the semis by fellow American John Isner, Roddick didn't play his first U.S. Open match until Wednesday night. (By the time he took the court, many of the women had already played twice.) But he wasted no time in going Full Roddick.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
