Arthur Gustav Malzahn III, 47, is the Unsinkable Molly Brown of college football coaches. Yesterday’s Twitter chatter focused on how Gus, as he’s known, managed to hop off Auburn’s sinking ship and then, a year later, become its captain. (Malzahn spent last season as head coach at Arkansas State.) But Malzahn is also the sole survivor of a more harrowing episode: the Springdale Five. I recount it here to show Malzahn is either the canniest guy in college football or the luckiest, and that in either case we should be in awe of his powers.
In 2005, Malzahn was an Arkansas high school coach, but one who was sitting on one of the greatest collections of talent the state had ever seen. Five of his Springdale High School players — the so-called Springdale Five — were being recruited by the power schools. Quarterback Mitch Mustain was Parade’s high school player of the year. Arkansas doesn’t have a surplus of four- and five-star recruits, so the Springdale Five became intense objects of desire for University of Arkansas coach Houston Nutt. “We’re going to protect what’s ours, first and foremost,” Nutt told Scout.com.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Mason Plumlee scored 21 points and grabbed 17 rebounds, and Rasheed Sulaimon scored all 17 of his points in the second half, as no. 2 Duke staged a 73-68 comeback win over no. 4 Ohio State. "In the end, 'The Little General' just killed us out there," said Buckeyes coach Thad Matta. Unfortunately, it was unclear who he was referring to, since a majority of Duke players and coaches are nicknamed "The Little General."
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
Eli Manning threw for 249 yards and three touchdowns as the Giants routed the Packers 38-10 to take a two-game lead in the NFC East. The Giants defense sacked Aaron Rodgers five times, and rubbed salt in the wound as he lay crumpled on the field by repeatedly noting that he "looked smaller in person."
O Meyer. O Saban. O Miles, you mysterious, grass-eating prophet …
Sorry, you caught me in the middle of my daily prayer to the Southeastern Conference. Like a lot of college football fans, I consider the SEC my guiding light. Only by praising its six straight national titles can I justify my miserable existence as a Big 12 fan. But through three weeks of football — through bumps in the road against Louisiana-Monroe and Western Kentucky — my faith in the SEC has begun to waver. If we college fans are expected to bow before our SEC overlords, we ought to clear up just who’s worth bowing to.
I’ve got three names: Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Urban Meyer. When we talk about the SEC, it’s tempting to imagine a southern behemoth that stretches from Columbia to College Station. The recent spasm of SEC greatness, though, is largely the work of three guys.
Manassas Junction, Virginia, 1861 — It's July 21, and the Civil War is about to begin for real. Union soldiers march south from Washington, D.C., to meet the Confederates, and the feeling throughout the north is that the rebels will hightail it back south after they get massacred on day one. The high muckety-mucks from D.C. — congressmen, business owners, and various other rich people — come down to picnic and watch the rout. Instead, after a long day of fighting, Stonewall Jackson and the Confederates send their enemies into a headlong retreat for Washington. As they flee north, the soldiers find the roads blocked by the panicked civilians who had come to watch the end of the pesky rebellion. And that's how the Battle of Bull Run ended.
I was a Civil War nerd as a kid, so it probably figures that while watching the Pac-12 shock the world last Saturday, I thought of Bull Run. It was the conference's best day in years, and it completely transformed their image around the country. The three ranked teams did their job, and that was expected — USC beat Syracuse, Oregon beat Fresno State, Stanford beat Duke. But the little guys did their part, too. Arizona dominated no. 18 Oklahoma State at home, Oregon State stunned no. 13 Wisconsin, UCLA outgunned no. 16. Nebraska in one of the best games of the weekend, and Arizona State destroyed Illinois. (Only Washington disappointed in the high-profile games, failing to make a dent against the Baton Rouge Tigers of the NFL's Second Division.)
There are now five Pac-12 teams in the AP top 25, and two more within sniffing distance. It's a revolution! The games were mostly at home, sure, but even under those circumstances the odds were long. Yet the mighty programs of the Big 10 and Big 12 left with their tails between their legs, fans in tow, realizing they'd underestimated the enemy. Week 2 was the Pac-12's Bull Run, and now everyone has to take them seriously.
So I'm calling it: This is the year of the Pac-12. Here are three more semi-ignorant reasons to love the rejuvenated conference.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Blake Griffin tore his meniscus at a Team USA scrimmage and will miss the Olympic Games in London. Which is particularly sad when you consider that, aside from Dwight Howard, Russell Westbrook, Christopher Paul, James Harden, and maybe, maybe Tyson Chandler, he had the team's most British name.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Sources indicate that Peyton Manning, released by the Colts on Wednesday, is planning to pick a new team within the week. "Have you totally ruled out evil coaches who would sign you just to bury you on the bench and demean you in front of your peers?" asked Bill Belichick. "Have you totally ruled out a coach who made a few bad impulse purchases and can only pay you in gumballs?" asked Rex Ryan. "Same question, but with butter," said Andy Reid.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
The NBA is back! Pending ratification, a new labor agreement has been reached between players and owners that would allow for a 66-game season beginning on Christmas day. Which means that the first Christmas memory for many young children will be the terrifying image of Kevin Garnett screaming at them through the television.
Your viewer’s guide for the final full weekend of the college football season, parsed into dual categories: The (relative) mainstream (The Cannon) and the indie (The JaMarcus).
Act I
The Cannon: No. 3 Arkansas (10-1) at no. 1 LSU (11-0), 2:30 p.m. EST, Friday, CBS
Rivalry Week is here, and there's a lot more at stake than just pride. Which is great because, really, who cares about pride? Most of us threw that out the window when we went on welfare just so we could afford HBO. It's the American story, folks. Don't blame the messenger. Anyway, there are more games with BCS implications this week than I can ever remember. The rundown is enough to make you store canned peaches and rifles in an underground shelter and pray for Thursday. So, here it be. (Note: I realize that not all of these games are true rivalries, so quit it with your semantics. There are bigger problems in this world, dude, such as your reflexive anger at trivialities.)
By my count, there are 2.5 HUGE games left on the college football schedule between now and bowl season. The .5 is LSU-Arkansas on Nov. 25. It falls short of a full point only because I don't believe Arkansas has a legitimate chance to win. We've been over this before — the Razorbacks have one loss, but it was an unvarnished throttling against Alabama, and a handful of their eight wins (Ole Miss and Vanderbilt especially) have not been impressive. Nevertheless, LSU is number one, and Arkansas could be as high as fifth by then. It's worth a mention.
The second HUGE game is Oklahoma-Oklahoma State on Dec. 3. If I had to pick right now, I would guess that the winner (Oklahoma, I suspect) will play in the BCS national title game against LSU. For the Cowboys, it's a no-brainer; they're already ranked second, and they control their own destiny. For Oklahoma, ranked sixth, help is needed. As of now, there are four teams for the Sooners to leapfrog if they want to land in the coveted second position. The first is Oklahoma State, who they'd pass with a win. The second is Alabama, and I believe the nation's desire to avoid a rematch national championship would take care of that. Then there's Boise State, who will almost certainly end the year undefeated if they beat TCU this weekend. Still, we know how that story goes. The BCS never smiles on the Broncos, and I can't imagine this year will be any different, even if they're one of just two undefeated teams in the country.
That leaves Stanford, and brings us to the present for …
Stanford – An article with the headline “For once, Stanford RBs grab spotlight from Luck” shows that even in grabbing the spotlight from Andrew Luck by rushing for 446 yards, none of Stanford’s running backs could get their name in the headline, or get Luck’s out of it.
Kansas State – Despite a victory over the Jayhawks, the K-State Wildcats were unable to get Kansas coach Turner Gill fired. This came two weeks after Gill said: “We have some work to do on that side of the ball … or on all sides of the ball, for that matter.”
Texas A&M – It is now the highest-ranked team in Texas, and in God’s eyes.
Michigan – Despite being one of the most electrifying players in the country, Denard Robinson refuses to expand his horizons.
Penn State – Despite being one of the least electrifying players in the country, Matt McGloin has “Irish bravado.”
Texas Tech – With a shocking upset win over Oklahoma, that Texas Tech finally won the hearts and minds of Lubbock sports fans who had spent the last three years mourning the end of the Lubbock Renegades.
Arizona State – The Sun Devils must’ve done something impressive in their bye week in order to jump into the BCS, despite being unranked the week before and passing two teams that also had byes. At this rate, Arizona State will be in position to play in the national title, so long as they don’t play any other games until then.
Georgia – Controversy filled the campus as a satirical cartoon implied that Georgia students are more enthused about drinking and watching football than they are about their academics.
West Virginia – The Mountaineers lost to Syracuse by the same 26-point margin they lost to LSU by, proving once and for all that Syracuse is at least as good as the best team in the country.
Jordan Carr runs the blog Better than Voodoo while trying to make it as a screenwriter in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter at @btvoodoo.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports last weekend.
Derek Holland gave up just two hits in 8 1/3 innings as the Texas Rangers evened up the World Series at two games apiece with a 4-0 win over the Cardinals. It's tempting to call his performance an "opus," but it's not worth dealing with the angry phone calls and letters from Richard Dreyfuss.
The most intriguing televised contests of your college football Saturday, collated into the somewhat obvious (The Manning) and the somewhat less obvious (The Leaf):
Act I
The Manning: North Carolina (5-2) at no. 7 Clemson (7-0), noon EST, ESPN
Appeals To: Tobacconists, Homer Jordan
Always at this time of the season, there is at least one undefeated major-conference team that the entire SEC fanbase deems unworthy of cozying up to their elitist fête. This year, it just happens to be a team that always seems like it should be playing in the SEC. I expect Clemson will survive this week, and then keep surviving, and then lose the final game of the season when The Head Ball Coach extracts an unwarranted miracle from his posterior whilst benching every quarterback on his roster.
Those words come from the song "Jimi Thing" by the Dave Matthews Band, and it's a good idea to sing them out loud if you ever want to be shunned at a party. But don't sleep on Brother Chaos; he's a real phenomenon, and he makes his presence known in college football. The Week of Chaos happens every year, usually just once, turning the whole Top 25 upside down. And I'm starting to get the vibe. There's a feeling in the air, something more than the usual pre-Halloween disquiet, and I think Week 8 will finally deliver on the promise.
