Here we are. A good four days later, and I’m still sick to my bloated stomach over the latest Cowboys meltdown. I’ve tried to conjure up a non-football analogy to describe what I’m feeling, and the best I can come up with is that it’s similar to when an average-at-best Bears squad embarrasses your disgustingly overexposed, overrated, and overpaid team at home. It’s sort of like that.
Plus, I just suffered my first losing week of the season, jermajesty-wise* (-16,250). This, despite my “New England (18/1) to score the most points in Week 4” play coming through. Shame on you, Vegas, for listing such ridiculous odds on Tommy Uggs and the potent Pats offense.
Overall, I’m still in the positive (+67,750 jermajesties), not to mention 8-4 overall (3-0 last week) with my best bets against the spread.
Have I fully confused you enough with meaningless numbers? Good. Here are more
"The greater fool is ... a patsy. For the rest of us to profit, we need a greater fool, someone who will buy long and sell short. Most people spend their lives trying not to be the greater fool; we toss in the hot potato, we dive for his seat when the music stops. The greater fool is someone with the perfect blend of self-delusion and ego to think that he can succeed where others have failed. This whole country was made by greater fools."
— Sloan Sabbith, The Newsroom
Hey! She’s talking about me! While I’m pretty sure that I didn’t help to build America, I certainly exhibit the other qualities outlined by Aaron Sorkin’s all-seeing econ-o-vixen. Or at least I think I do; if I’m truly such a great fool, my judgment can’t be trusted, on account of all that ego and self-delusion. Maybe I’m not the fool after all? It’s so confusing. Meta-cognitive awareness really is a minefield.
Now, the greater-fool theory applies to all economic markets, but my personal foolishness is localized to betting. I fare better than most with the bookmaker, but it’s also true to say that I don't always choose my bets wisely. I've yet to find a betting market where I didn’t fancy myself to have some form of edge over the mob, and this means I am prone to gamble on everything from reality television shows to sumo wrestling, with wildly varying levels of success. Over the years, this overweening confidence in my own abilities has led me to take on the markets in the NFL and NBA. I believe I have a solid understanding of both these sports, but that's probably just the perfect blend of ego and self-delusion talking.
If you're looking for a last-minute gambling pool for you and your friends, I highly recommend a surprisingly simple (and addictive) NFL wins pool. I love this pool. My friends love this pool. And now, you can love this pool.
Here's what you do: Find nine friends, agree on an entry fee and prize money, then come up with a draft order from 1-10.
From there, you use the following "drafting system" to pick teams. I have no idea how the creator came up with these numbers, just that there's a 20 percent chance he was one of those MIT brainiacs or something. Anyway ...
Here in Viva Las Vegas headquarters at the Veer Towers, we get one question about twice as much as every other question combined.
"I'm coming to Vegas soon. Which sportsbook should me and my friends go to?"
It's time to start answering that question. Starting this week, we'll be providing capsules and reviews of the sportsbooks that line the Las Vegas strip. If you're just looking to place a bet somewhere when you're in Vegas, of course, this won't really matter. You can do that at any sportsbook. But if you're looking to figure out where you and your buddies should spend a Saturday or Sunday watching football, watch this space over the next couple of months.
In last week's treatise on early NFL line movements, we broke down the vaunted "middle" bet. This week, we're going to focus on another bet that can represent value when employed properly: the teaser.
With a teaser bet, a bettor is placing money on two or more teams in a particular football or basketball game to cover their side of a spread or point total(s) to go over/under a particular number. This is also true of parlay bets, which can also incorporate moneyline bets and/or bets across different sports, which is why the two are often confused by people traveling to Vegas to bet for the first time, like yours truly. A parlay bet incorporates the odds of the bets in question and pays out an exponential amount, while the payout on a teaser is set at a flat rate and is always lower than a parlay. A $100 two-team parlay with each bet having -110 odds will pay out a total of $264.46 $364 if both teams win, but a two-team teaser with the same odds for the same cash will only pay $190.91.
Hey you, yeah you with all the disposable income. You know what stimulates the economy? Casual sports gambling! But we're not throwing you in the deep end without some floaties, here. The Triangle has contracted two of Vegas' most astute handicappers to help you navigate the choppy waters of gambling, going into this second weekend of the NFL season. Here's what they had to say.
Welcome degenerate gamblers. I knew you’d come back. Last week I offered up a gaggle of season-long props, and miraculously they’ve all survived Week 1. Now it’s time to start keeping track. And just so we don’t end up sharing prison cell bunk beds with Manny Ramirez, let’s change the term “dollars” to something ridiculous like “jermajesties” — which happens to be Jermaine Jackson’s son’s real name (yes — turns out that family is weird).
When I was first approached by my friend Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons to write a gambling blog for Grantland I was tickled pink. I mean c'mon — that voice of his is hilarious.
In all honesty I was excited about the opportunity but felt that before I took the gig I owed it to myself to at least do some research and find out what kind of guy Grantland Rice — the man for which this website was named — was. More importantly — how similar was he to the editor in chief of said website.