In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.

• John Elway and the Denver Broncos officially introduced Peyton Manning in a press conference after signing the free agent to a deal that could be worth as much as $96 million over five years. "I'm happy to join the Mile High club under a legend like John Elway," said Manning, in a really unfortunate opening statement followed by an even more unfortunate joke: "Even if it does get a little hard to breathe!"

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.

• With a balanced scoring attack, the no. 6 Duke Blue Devils held off no. 17 Virginia to win their 44th straight home game, 61-58. After the game, the student body from both schools expressed relief that they could put the rivalry aside and get back to wearing pastel shirts and inventing new ways to screw poor people.

Here at The Triangle, we are committed to answering your most burning questions. In the second issue of our mailbag, the Bake Shop, we discuss a new era of sports films, the people we’d want to be reborn as, and false prophets.