In case you were busy dancing like no one was watching, despite the fact many, many people were watching, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.

• Clayton Kershaw pitched a shutout and hit a go-ahead home run in the eighth inning as the Los Angeles Dodgers beat the San Francisco Giants, 4-0 to open their 2013 season. "I've been playing at such a high level for a number of years, and now it's time for me to make an impact at every level of the franchise," Kershaw said after the game, while directing traffic in Dodger Stadium's serpentine parking lot, adeptly moving those headed to the 110 away from those headed toward the 101. Kershaw reportedly spent the remainder of his evening helping the grounds crew reseed the playing surface, before finally heading to the locker room to do the team's laundry.
• Mike Conley and the Memphis Grizzlies sent the Spurs to their second consecutive defeat, winning in Memphis, 92-90. Conley hit the game-winning shot with six-tenths of a second left on the clock, but was also held without a steal for the first time in 64 games. "I'm out of the game," Conley said after the win. "I've been taking things my whole life, but I'm done. I've got a wife now, and I think a more stable life is what we need." Despite these comments, Conley was, admittedly, "intrigued" by a plan that Marc Gasol was putting together for "one last big score," but at press time had still refused to commit to any more steals in a potential first-round matchup with the Denver Nuggets.

The American League Cy Young race has turned into an excellent five-man duel, and four of the names are very familiar — 2011 and 2010 winners Justin Verlander and Felix Hernandez, Angels ace Jered Weaver, and MLB wins leader David Price. But the fifth, Chicago's Chris Sale, is a virtually unknown 23-year-old southpaw, playing in just his second full season with the White Sox. At 6-foot-6, 180, he's not much more than a string bean, but his long arms and his swooping, jerky delivery — complete with a devastating slider — evoke Randy Johnson to an almost eerie degree. His fastball topped out at 96-98 as a reliever last season, but as a starter he lacks Johnson's velocity, settling in the high 80s and low 90s. As we'll see, though, the rest of his numbers have only improved in his first year as a starter, and a deeper look indicates that Sale has a legitimate shot at this year's Cy Young and many more to come.

Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.

10. Reality Cometh for One (BAL-CLE)

Now for this weekend’s metaphorical boxing match between two of the luckiest teams in baseball. In one corner, we have the Baltimore Orioles — 48-44, in a really good division, with a run differential of -55. In this corner, you've got the Cleveland Indians, standing 47-45 in a pretty good division, with a run differential of -36. Stick with me while I analyze these teams with some complex baseball terminology: They are total flukes. In games decided by two runs or less, the Orioles are 32-14 (first in baseball), and the Indians are 25-16 (good for fourth). But do they have great starting pitching? Nope. Do they have great bullpen pitching? Baltimore is pretty solid, but Cleveland is near the bottom. What about run-scoring from the seventh inning on? Again, average to below average for both. Average with RISP and two outs? Mediocre. All this means that both teams have been very, very lucky to stay above, and that both are due for bad times. If you get excited by regression, then you'll be riveted by this series, where cold, hard, statistical truth will dig its icy claws into temporary luck.

Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.

One last weekend of interleague play before it's back to outerleague business …

10. Catching Up on East vs. East

When last we checked in, the two best divisions in baseball had faced off 27 times in the interleague hiatus, with the AL East holding a slim 14-13 lead over the NL East. Over the past week, the gap has widened. It's now 29-22 in favor of the American Leaguers after a dominant seven-day stretch that saw the Yankees sweep the Nationals in a battle of the top dogs. On June 7, before this whole thing began, I wrote a piece speculating that if the AL East could finish interleague play with all five teams above .500, there was no good reason to think they couldn't maintain that historic pace for an entire season. Now here we are, three days from that end point, and what's the worst record in the division? Toronto, at 35-34. They've survived and prospered against the other best division in baseball, and theoretically it will only get easier from here. We finish this week with a solid five-against-five, 15 games pitting East against East in a last hurrah that I'm starting to think nobody cares about but me.