In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
The Arizona Wildcats are College World Series champions. Defensive replacement Brandon Dixon hit an RBI double in the ninth inning to break a 1-1 tie, spurring Arizona to a 4-1 win over South Carolina and a two-game sweep in the championship round. Unfortunately for Dixon, the League of Defensive Replacements determined that he was "getting above his station" in a secret meeting and revoked his membership. The vote was nearly unanimous, with only "Weakish" Walter Burrows, Bartholomew "Bad Eyes" Burrows, Timothy "Batless" Burrows, and Edward "Eczema Eddie" Burrows — the famous Burrows quadruplets — voting on Dixon's side.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
LeBron James is a remorseless assassin, his own secret society, the ultimate trump card, the French connection and the Spanish main, a beautiful mind, the spirit of the eagle, a healer of souls, a printer of money, the first banana republic, the last crusade, a certified doctor of mojo, an honorary doctor of funk, and an honest-to-god NBA champion. And that's all I have to say about that.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
LeBron James scored 26 points and the Heat overcame Russell Westbrook's 43 points to beat the Thunder 104-98 and take a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals. James hit two huge baskets late in the fourth quarter after suffering thigh cramps that sidelined him for part of the game. Afterward, James seemed to realize the magnitude of what he'd accomplished. "Hey, remember when Michael Jordan had that one game where he played with the flu?" he asked. "Neither do I. It doesn't exist anymore. And if you ever mention it again, neither will you."
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
Raleigh native Webb Simpson posted a final-round 68 and watched as the leaders faltered on a tough day at The Olympic Club, handing him the U.S. Open. "Well, golly gee, if that ain't just ol' Webby all the way, lucking into a gol-dang tournament on the foggiest day this side of a North Carolina holler!" said Simpson, the Wake Forest graduate who is trying hard to build his brand as a comical country bumpkin. "Jiminy cricket! I reckon they'll be firing up the fancy tractors and gettin' all likkered up in their Sunday overalls back home! Yessireebob! We're gonna jump in that crick like it's our mammy's birthday! Whippity-snip, zippedy-doo, smackety-bip and a cock-a-doodle-doo!"
