By Jonah Keri at
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Yu Darvish has been nearly unhittable in his second big league season. Though known more for his mastery of multiple pitches and eerily consistent delivery, the Rangers right-hander can also beat you with pure heat, with a fastball that averages 93.1 mph and ranks among the game's fastest. The pitch's results have been merely good this year, but that fastball can still be extremely tough to hit, especially given all the other pitches he might throw in any count.
Matt Moore has what you might call easy heat. Though his fastball velocity is down about 2 miles per hour and not as effective this year as it was in 2012, it's still one of the fastest in the game, averaging 92.5 mph. It's the way he throws it that can be so deceiving. Emanating from a delivery that seems to require less effort than anyone else's, Moore looks like he's about to soft-toss the ball to a 7-year-old in the park … right until the moment when he releases it, and suddenly it's by you. Moore's curveball and changeup have been the secrets to his success this season — but that fastball can still induce whiffs, especially when elevated.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Today is Election Day on About Last Night. Terrence the Grantland Robot, the incumbent, will be taking on Carl Tompkins, a 25-year-old actual human who hopes to be an intern here. The winner will serve as ALN's second-in-command (Shane Ryan holds a sort of semi-permanent Vladimir Putin role). After each news item, I'll allow each of them to make a statement outlining their positions and why they deserve your vote. Please choose either Terrence or Carl in the Facebook comments below, either by commenting with their name, or "liking" somebody else's comment with whom you agree. We'll tally the votes tomorrow morning and announce a winner.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Ozzie Guillen was fired as manager of the Miami Marlins, and team officials say his positive remarks about Fidel Castro played a contributing role. As he retreated from Miami into the remote Everglades of central Florida with only a small loyal band of 19 followers (including his brother Raul Guillen and Hanley "Che" Ramirez), Guillen vowed that his fight to dominate the Florida sports scene had only just begun. He was given a hero's greeting by the Everglade peasants, and immediately set up a pirate radio station to broadcast his message into the homes of the people.
The baseball season is a long and lonely road. To preserve his sanity, Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter keeps a diary. These are excerpts from The Captain's private journal.
Now that the All-Star Game is in the rearview mirror, I guess it's safe to tell the truth: Any player who's already been to more than one of those things would rather have a couple extra days of vacation than have to show up for it. Except me, naturally — it's always a huge honor to be selected and to play alongside the best in the league, especially now that we're out there battling for home-field advantage. I'm not going to be one of those ingrates who complains about how he could be in St. Barts, or Bora Bora, or recharging his batteries at his 30,000-square-foot compound in Florida. Playing baseball for a living is a blessing, and it would be crazy not to appreciate every single bonus moment of competition you're lucky enough to have the fans impose on you while most of your teammates were left home to nurse their sore hammies or strained obliques so that they can come out of the gate strong for the second half. You have to savor those extra innings you're asked to play in the sweltering mid-July heat, for a manager you're probably going to face for the pennant. It's a great gift every time. Especially when you're a veteran who doesn't know how many more chances you might get to re-experience something you've done 13 or so times before.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports since Tuesday.
Phoenix Sun? More like Phoenix done! Steve Nash is headed to the Lakers … the Los Angeles Lakers, that is. The Suns point guard worked out a sign-and-trade deal with Phoenix that will send him to L.A., where he'll chase an NBA title with a certain fellow superstar. Maybe you've heard of him: Kobe Bryant.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Russell Westbrook scored 28 points and Kevin Durant added 25 and 10 boards as the Thunder eliminated the Lakers and advanced to the Western Conference Finals with a 106-90 win. As he walked out of the building, Pau Gasol felt something heavy in his coat pocket. He reached in and found the hilt of a knife with a note wrapped around it. "Amigo," it said. "Mine has a blade. See you tonight. -K." He's probably just letting off steam, thought Gasol, who found himself sprinting.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Dwyane Wade scored 25 points as the Heat took a 2-0 lead on the Knicks with a 104-94 win. After the game, sources report that Amar'e Stoudemire punched the glass casing surrounding a fire extinguisher, suffering lacerations that may keep him out for the rest of the playoffs. The incident reportedly began with the Knicks forward sitting in the locker room muttering crazily to himself: "What stops Heat? To know what stops heat, I must know what makes heat. Heat comes from flames. Flames come from fire. Fire must be extinguished. FIRE MUST BE EXTINGUISHED! AHHHHHHH *sound of shattering glass* AHHHH, MY HAND!" Following the incident, Knicks forward Steve Novak quietly picked up the fire extinguisher, whispered, "He was right — fire must be extinguished," and went off looking for Burnie, the Heat mascot.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
The Rangers rallied for two runs in the ninth, scoring both on sacrificeflies, to even the World Series at one game apiece with a 2-1 win over the Cardinals. My only question is this: Why do you have to win like cowards, Texas?
The Boston Globe's Bob Hohler gives us an epic postmortem on one of the greatest collapses in MLB history. Behold tales of Red Sox clubhouse freeze-outs (Jacoby Ellsbury!), players obsessed with their own stats (Tim Wakefield! David Ortiz!), a manager with marital and (alleged) painkiller problems (Tito!), and this corker about John Lester, Josh Beckett, and John Lackey:
"Drinking beer in the Sox clubhouse is permissible. So is ordering take-out chicken and biscuits. Playing video games on one of the clubhouse’s flat-screen televisions is OK, too. But for the Sox pitching trio to do all three during games, rather than show solidarity with their teammates in the dugout, violated an unwritten rule that players support each other, especially in times of crisis."
Are you a high-level executive at a professional baseball team? Send all complaints about fried chicken consumption and/or painkillers to triangle@grantland.com
Before we get started, I'd like to ruin a Bruce Springsteen song for you.
I was out for a jog the other day, and "Born to Run" got stuck in my head. I am most definitely not Born to Run, but I couldn't resist humming the tune. Then, out of nowhere, the melody morphed into a whole new song. Something similiar, yet horrifyingly different.
So, sing this out loud: "Tramps like us, baby we were born to run!"
Now sing this: "There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart!"
I'm really, really sorry. I didn't ask for this, either. Let's get to the recap.
Derek Jeter on Saturday pulled a David Price curve into the left-field stands for the 3,000th hit of his career. He went 5-for-5 on the day and knocked in the game-winning run in the eighth inning. After the historic accomplishment, his girlfriend was Minka Kelly and he had five World Series titles with America's most storied franchise and he was the most-loved human being in the country's biggest city. Meanwhile, A-Rod can't even buy a dozen lava lamps in the East Village without some total wiseacre making a snide remark.
After a spectacular 122nd-minute goal by Abby Wambach, the U.S. Women's National Soccer Team beat Brazil in penalty kicks to advance to the Women’s World Cup semifinals. This was such a fantastic victory that I don't even have a joke. Instead, I'll use this space to pay homage to Ian Darke, the announcer who worked the game. He's the genius behind the "oh, it's INCREDIBLE!" call after Landon Donovan's goal against Algeria, and one of the greatest, most underrated goal calls in soccer history. He brought the goods again with Wambach's goal, but if anything, these triumphant moments overshadow his dry sense of humor. I laugh at least five times whenever Darke calls a game, and it's usually because of his incredible word choice. This weekend, he unleashed a classic Darke-ism when U.S. defender Ali Krieger was desperately trying to retrieve a ball from the stands in extra time. "The ball went out of play there," said Darke, "and a retinue of intellectuals decided they'd hand it around among themselves before throwing it back." The man is a legend.
Fifteen players have withdrawn from Tuesday's MLB All-Star game. Some weren't even on the disabled list this past weekend. Michael Weiner, executive director of the Major League Baseball Players Association, insisted the players were honored to be on the team but simply hate the sport of baseball, the fans (especially the kids), and the notion of playing an extra nine innings in a season that's already 162 games longer than any of them would prefer.
The Detroit Tigers took a half-game lead in the American League Central with 2-1 win over the Royals on Sunday. Detroit manager Jim Leyland says he's thrilled about the slim advantage and plans to stay atop the division for all but like five meaningless games at the very end of the season.
The Pittsburgh Pirates took two of three from the Chicago Cubs to finish the first half four games above .500, making 2011 their best chance yet to reverse a string of 18 straight losing seasons. "It's tough to lose," said Cubs manager Mike Quade, "but we're happy for Pittsburgh. I can't imagine what it must be like for a club to wake up every morning having to deal with the reality of a long drought. Just knowing that your entire history is a narrative of endless disappointments, year after year, to the point that it comes to define your franchise … I mean, good god. They must sit around sometimes wondering if it's even worth the struggle. And I don't mean just the baseball struggle — I'm talking about the big one here, guys. And you know their home life is no picnic, either. Not with that harpy of a wife. If it wasn't for HAM radio, they'd probably have nothing."
The Houston Astros courageously took the field once again Sunday, bringing inspiration to millions of disadvantaged people across the world. Just by showing up, they taught us all a lesson about the enduring human spirit. Their brave efforts on the way to compiling a 30-62 record have garnered more congratulatory plaques than any baseball team in history, and donations from concerned Americans are pouring in to help pay for supplies such as gloves, orange slices, and adult diapers.
The Texas Rangers' recent tear continued Sunday with their seventh consecutive victory. The streak would be even longer, but Texas’ past four wins against Oakland only officially count as a half-win apiece.
The Philadelphia Phillies, who own baseball's best record, trounced the Atlanta Braves 14-1 to win the weekend series. In the end, their triple threat of Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Cole Hamels was too much for Atlanta's triple threat of Derek Lowe, a bottle of old perfume, and Ted Turner's insane, screeching laughter.
Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones was arrested at a bar for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Other than that, though, I think we can all agree he's a pretty good guy.
The Boston Red Sox head into the All-Star break on a six-game winning streak. During Friday's game against Baltimore, David Ortiz charged Orioles relief pitcher Kevin Gregg after a series of inside pitches culminated with Ortiz's popout to center field. The two exchanged blows, and both benches emptied before order was restored. After the game, Gregg offered the strange explanation: that he yelled at Ortiz for not running to first base. "I may be a major league pitcher," he said, "but my real dream is to be an overbearing father."
The NBA lockout continues with disputes over the exact financial loss suffered by the NBA in the 2009-10 season. The details are fairly complicated, but basically LeBron James stole a ton of money and kidnapped David Stern's daughter, but then Dirk Nowitzki rescued her, but then Shaq was wearing this cool hat and got his hands on the briefcase with all the money and nobody's sure if he's a good guy yet, but then Carmelo Anthony invited everyone to this private Harry Potter screening this week and things will probably get weird.
In an effort to end the recent scourge of flopping in the NBA once and for all, the Los Angeles Lakers hired Italy's Ettore Messina as a coaching consultant.
Thomas Voeckler took the overall lead in the Tour de France on Sunday, finishing second in the ninth stage. Voeckler, a Frenchman who has never tested positive for any performance enhancing drug, attributes his success to hard work and the fact that he has a motorized engine on his bike.
