In case you were busy being thankful for Moises Alou's Hall of Fame candidacy, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday:
Jordan Lynch broke his own FBS single-game record for rushing yards by a quarterback with 321, as Northern Illinois finished its regular season undefeated with a 33-14 win over Western Michigan. "No! My record is gone," Lynch said after the game. When told he still had the record, Lynch shook his head and said, "Sure, but it's not the same. I loved that old record like a son. This one I'll never tell it how much I love it. I'm just gonna put a ton of pressure on it to make up for my lost relationship with the old record. Even if it means this new one is gonna grow up to be all weird and maladjusted." Lynch then looked at a picture of himself setting the original rushing record and let a single tear trickle down his cheek before yelling, "You're nothing to me!" at a TV playing a highlight reel of Tuesday's game.
Despite being down Andre Iguodala and Andrew Bogut, Golden State held on late to edge the Pelicans, 102-101, in New Orleans. "I didn't want to play either," Warriors guard Klay Thompson said after the game. "I mean, have you seen that Pelican mascot? Pure intimidation. But with those two out I knew I'd have to fight through it, no matter how many nightmares I'm sure to have tonight."
I'm one of those people who adhere to a strict famine-and-feast diet on Thanksgiving Day. I'll starve myself throughout the day, trying to not let the aromas floating in from the kitchen drive me insane, just so I can gorge myself like a crazed animal when 4 p.m. rolls around. From an informal poll of friends and family, it seems like this is a pretty common tactic. I'm ashamed to admit that I had to eat an apple to hold myself over at noon, but otherwise I held firm. And the feast was glorious. I didn't stop eating until midnight, when my wife hit me with a pan and knocked me into a deep, 18-hour slumber.
The whole Thanksgiving situation is a lot like the first two weeks of college basketball. The morning starvation is the offseason, when you want to avoid lesser temptations like recruiting updates or NCAA investigations or Tony Parker's eight-month press conference. Sometimes you need to check in on those things just to hold off the hunger, like with my apple. And then, when the season finally arrives, it's a delicious cornucopia of tournaments, amazing matchups, surprising players, and crazy upsets. I can't stop watching. I can't, and I won't! I've now binged on college basketball for two straight weeks, and from the depraved den of hoops gluttony, I bring you my 25 November epiphanies.
In exactly seven weeks, the 2012 NCAA tournament will begin in Dayton, Ohio.
1. That is sooner than you think.*
2. It's only true if you count this newfangled "first four" as the start of the tournament.**
3. Wow! Seven weeks!***
*Unless you have a pretty firm grasp on how long a week is. Then it's exactly as long as you think. But if you think seven weeks is like four months, get ready for a big surprise, brother.
**Nonsense. The first round is nonsense and we all know it. Here's a great use of the word "nonsense" in Internet cartoon form: nonsense.
***That's sooner than you think!
What this means is that we should start speculating about which teams will take the four 1-seeds. If we wait much longer, we'll be totally unprepared to speculate when the time comes, and then they'll have to cancel the whole tournament.
So let's count down some contenders, followed by the current top dogs in the 1-seed hunt.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
The no. 12 Florida Gators were pushed to overtime, but 25 points and 10 rebounds from Patric Young were enough to lift them over Arizona 78-72. "In my whole tenure being here I haven't really done too much offensively in the post to make teams come in and try to keep me out of my game," Young said. "Tonight I established that and I'm really thankful." In related news, Young learned to speak English from Nigerian spam emails.