In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Ryan Braun's 50-game suspension for violating MLB's drug policy has been overturned on appeal. Details from the meeting are still foggy, but sources indicate that Braun demanded a trial by combat, and got all hyped up on testosterone before defeating one of Bud Selig's 16 bastard sons.
Linsanity is over forever. Jeremy Lin scored eight points on 1-11 shooting and turned the ball over eight times as the Knicks fell to the Miami Heat 102-88. The time has come … TO BURN HIM! BURN THE UPSTART! THIS IS AMERICA, JEREMY, WE CREATED YOU AND NOW WE WILL DESTROY YOU! THAT PEDESTAL YOU SEE BENEATH YOU DOUBLES AS A FUNERAL PYRE! WE ARE THE FICKLE PRINCES OF THE UNITED 50, AND WE SHALL NOT SPARE YOU THE FLAMES!
Less than a week before the beginning of the season, an article about the Phoenix Coyotes in the Arizona Republic had this to say about the team's personnel in net: "Mike Smith, who calls parts of his game 'a work in progress,' will be in goal when the Coyotes open the regular season Saturday night at San Jose."
It wasn't exactly a rousing outlook for the Coyotes, who lost their starting goaltender, Vezina Trophy candidate Ilya Bryzgalov, in the summer to the far richer Philadelphia Flyers. The Coyotes, who are currently owned by the league and may not be long for Phoenix unless a new buyer can be located, instead inked former Tampa Bay and Dallas backup Mike Smith to a far thriftier two-year, $4-million contract than the nine-year, $51-million deal Bryzgalov ultimately wrung out of Philly.
Outside the Centre Ice Arena in Traverse City, Mich., a man talked on his cell phone and described the scene inside the rink.
"You should see them," he said. "They all walk in together and they all wear the same thing. They've got on these jackets with the team logos, and slacks. They're all glued to their BlackBerries and phones. These guys, they can't stay in one place for even 10 minutes. They're always looking around."
It was, I thought as I eavesdropped, an apt description of the eight teams' worth of hockey hopefuls gathered in the beautiful lakeside town in northwestern Michigan for the 2011 NHL Prospects Tournament, a five-day exhibition of players who could someday be the league's future stars.
But the man wasn't talking about, as everyone refers to them, the kids.
"These scouts, they're like, all former players," he continued. "None of them can sit still."
