The NBA Finals began last night, so there's plenty of news to discuss. Football is still three months away, and there's no good reason to celebrate the art of punt returns today. But Thursday morning Bill Barnwell passed along this video of Clarence Anderson's punt return for Poland's Warsaw Eagles:
It's fun for several reasons.
• They play football in Poland!
• Yo, that punt went like 80 yards. Punters in Poland are serious.
• Clarence breaks a full seven tackles on his way to the end zone.
• This guy's name is Clarence (he lives at home with two real good parents).
I may be the only degenerate football fan in the country who is going to miss the replacement refs. Not because I thought they were competent or belonged anywhere near an NFL stadium, but because during the short time they were employed, I enjoyed three straight winning weeks with my prop bets. Not sure that has ever happened before. Certainly it never will again.
Not to mention — I had big plans for Week 4. There was talk of players taking a knee to protest the replacements. I was hoping the shitty refs would stay, and the players would sit, so I could cash in on a 15-team all “under” parlay. All games end up 0-0?!! $1 would’ve paid $16,306.
But now that the lockout has ended, that’s all just a pipe dream. And I’m telling you now — if my luck starts to change, Ed Hochuli and I are gonna have a fistfight. (He must, of course, first agree to a steroid test.)
This year, I’m 84,000 jermajesties* in the plus. Let’s keep it rolling with Week 4 and remember — when picking my favorite games, I always keep in mind that it’s not about the X's and O's, it’s about the Jims and Joes. (If someone ever figures out what that means, please drop me a line.)