Even though this is the second straight week that Spinks-related gear has come up (leading me to believe a certain someone has a "Spinks Vintage Shirt" Google Alert), this is the better of the two finds. Why? You get TWO shirts. Never underestimate the power of having multiple versions of the same item. It screams, "I can't wait until my significant other and I show up to this party wearing the same shirt, completely being those people." It's corny when you're both wearing full denim outfits with matching cowboy hats, but when it's two matching Tyson vs. Spinks shirts? Fantastic. If you have someone to keep you warm at night, wait for this item to get reposted (no one bid on it), and if you're single, find a way to get these shirts and then get out there and find you a soul mate.
Bryce Harper 5/27/12 4th Home Run #4 Ticket Unused! - $6.00
On the surface, this seems like a perfectly harmless and inconsequential eBay listing that like many others before it makes you ask yourself, "All right, who would really buy this?" But then when you look a little closer, this item makes even less sense, because the very question you just asked gets answered when you see that there are only six available — AND FOUR ALREADY SOLD. Four people saw this listing and then bought it — and that is just in the last 36 hours.
Let's go one level deeper here. The page counter currently has 27 views, according to the little counter thing on the bottom, so that means, besides Sarah Larimer (who found this listing) and me, of the 25 people who previously looked at this item, four of them could not contain their excitement at the opportunity to buy a ticket stub for a game that (most likely) they did not attend and felt compelled to pay $6 to "buy it now." That's almost a 20 percent conversion rate (the rate of views that turn into, in this case, sales) — do you know what converts that high? Almost nothing! The average conversion of selling things on the Internet is LESS THAN 3 PERCENT. Think about what's happening right now: Bryce Harper is bending the conventional laws of the Internet at his whim with ticket stubs of a random game in which he hit a home run. IS THERE ANYTHING BRYCE HARPER CAN'T DO?!
Chicago Bears/Jay Cutler Sports Plaque -- $19.95
The idea of having this picture of Jay Cutler displayed above the quote, "For the last time, I cannot flag someone for making you cry," is one of those ideas that you and your buddies talk about while watching football one Sunday, it's getting a lot of LOLs around the room, really killing, and then you -- being your enterprising self -- decide to actually go and get it made. You put it on eBay, and that's when you realize, zero bids later, that it's way better in concept than in actual execution. Don't let this discourage you from taking the bull by the horns, though. "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take," said NHL legend Wayne Gretzky, and I'm not entirely sure, but I believe he was referencing this very scenario of commissioning a plaque of Jay Cutler to be sold on eBay.
Large Lot of Nascar Race Used Sheetmetal 50 pieces ($50)
There are so many things I like about this. First off, this is about NASCAR, my soon-to-be favorite sport in 2012. Secondly, the fact that people collect NASCAR shrapnel excites me. And third, I love the fact that the seller hand-picks 50 pieces for you with the guarantee of metal from the cars of Dale Jr., Matt Kenseth, Jimmie Johnson, and many others. I might have to bid on this, just out of respect for the hustle.
2 CHICAGO BEARS CEILING FAN LIGHT PULLS FOOTBALL NFL FANS SPORTS MEMORABILIA — $4.99
What's the most handsome a guy would have to be for a girl to still hook up with him after she saw these in his house? I'm going to go out on a limb and say if you're anything below Rob Lowe attractive (let's say you're John Stamos), she's going to see these light fixtures and leave. That being said, if you have a girl who has the sense of mind to leave a dude's house because of some ugly ass light fixtures, she's a keeper, switch out the fixtures and try to get her back!
3 SETS VINTAGE MINNESOTA TWINS GAME WORN STIRUPS PLAIN AND TC — $50
The listed price for these game worn stirrups is $50, but this seller has got to know that no one's going to pay $50 for some dirty old oversized socks. So what's the real "best offer" price here? To me, if someone offers $5, he or she has got to take that and run, because when you're competing with golf lamp at $25 (which is both functional and doesn't smell like shit), you're fighting a real uphill battle.
I'll be honest, I know it's hip to be disaffected by things and "snarky" about them and whatever, but I think this item is very appropriately priced. It's $12, roughly the same price for a movie ticket in most cities, and that seems like a very reasonable amount of money to pay for a piece of some pretty cool turf in a nice case. In fact, a quick call to a framing store tells me that if you had brand-new, not-particularly-special turf, and wanted that put in a case, it would most likely cost more than the $12 that this encased turf would cost! (Me: "How much would it cost to have a 3"-by-3" piece of turf encased?" Frame store guy: "Sorry, we don't do that here.")
This week's grossly overpriced item is this empty box with a picture of Wilt Chamberlain on it, which previously held a basketball and is now being sold for $40. Even if you're the biggest Wilt fan and are like, "OK, I HAVE to have this box with Wilt's face on it," you're still getting ripped off, because the box looks like it was hastily opened by some overzealous kid in the 60s who had no idea that 40 years in the future, there would be something called eBay on the Internet (which he also didn't know would exist) by way of which he could sell, to a stranger, the box that he just opened like some sort of crazy animal. Did you really want to play with your basketball so badly that you couldn't open the box like a more civilized person? Really? Is that how your parents raised you? Ugh, you disgust me.
This listing is for a fake ring. You, the purchaser of this ring, are not a champion. Is the eBay auction for this ring the first thing you've ever won in your entire life? It wouldn't surprise me if it were. You are almost as bad as the kid who didn't know how to properly open the Wilt Chamberlain basketball box.
Now we're f-ing talking. This thing is more than 11 feet tall and is made of fiberglass and steel. STEEL. The only thing that makes me skeptical about how much someone could actually enjoy being the owner of this gigantic non-functional bell is the seller's (sort of desperate) description:
This Liberty Bell was taken from the Angels Stadium in Los Angeles about 5 years ago but is estimated to be 10-20 years old...This is the ultimate baseball stadium collectors item and will only grow in value as the years go by. Perfect for stadium seating collectors too. It's original costs were estimated to be $20-25k. When I transported this home it literally stopped traffic. This item is located in San Diego so please be ready to pick up with a flatbed trailer. I may be able to deliver for a substantial fee. Email me with all questions....reasonable offers considered.
"Reasonable offers considered." AKA: "I seriously need to get rid of this bell, my wife is really pissed I spent upwards of $20,000 of our money on a gigantic non-functional bell."
I can't say that I support the sale of this WWF Championship Replica belt, because, to be honest, if you're in possession of something like this, you better have earned it. Being a guy who has WWF Championship Replica belt that he just bought for more than $170 on eBay is like being a guy who has to pay his friends (replica friends?) to hang out with him. Do you want to be that guy? Do you want to be a friendless loser who is paying for his replica friends? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Thanks to eBay, you can now buy things all sorts of random things that you didn't even know you wanted. To make this careless spending even easier, we've compiled a list of various sports-adjacent things that you might want to waste your money on.
Thanks to eBay, you can now buy things all sorts of random things that you didn't even know you wanted. To make this careless spending even easier, we've compiled a list of various sports-adjacent things that you might want to waste your money on.
1974 Rogie Vachon Kings NHL Player Of The Month Award - $649.99
If you're like me, and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume we're similar in this regard, you've probably never won an NHL Player of the Month Award, much less know that there even was a trophy for said award. Well, thanks to Lucie Favreau antiques and some enterprising family member of Rogie Vachon (or possibly even Vachon himself) one of us can, for just $650 + shipping, own our own NHL Player of the Month Award trophy.
