It’s been an exhausting year of football, capped by Spain’s second consecutive Euro title Sunday. Michael Davies and Roger Bennett survived, barely, and reconvene on this week’s pod to discuss the Spanish Smurfs’ potent attack, heap praise on Italy’s footballing Fonz, Andrea Pirlo, and dole out grades to ESPN’s crack halftime squad.
But the football doesn’t stop here; it never does. As the Men in Blazers take a summer break, a wealth of English clubs come crashing to America’s shores. While most media outlets will be focusing on the friendlies featuring megaclubs Real Madrid, AS Roma, and Chelsea, the boys salivate over the titillating Swansea–Ventura County Fusion showdown on July 28.
On Sunday in Germany, Joachim Löw was everywhere all at once. In the Frankfurt airport, his frown was plastered across nearly every paper on the stand. The Frankfurter Allgemeine, a burly broadsheet not unlike the the Wall Street Journal in this country, featured an illustration of his face on its front page, crumpled and then flattened, dappled with distress. "Celebrated too early," its caption began. "A week ago we were enamored with [Löw]. He was a star. Since last Thursday's 2-1 result against Italy we now know that he didn't get everything right, but rather, he actually got a whole lot wrong …. Grrrr."
In Hannover, a mustachioed man with a bookshelf of a belly stepped into the dining car of a train headed for Berlin with the Bild, perhaps Germany's most infamous tabloid, folded under his arm. "Another Final Without Us," the first half of its headline read. "Can one still believe in Jögi?" He pored over a post-match breakdown the entire way to the capital city, hunched over and frozen, breaking away only for another wheat beer. He had four in just over an hour.
Here’s a look at the numbers behind some of the biggest sports stories this past month. Send us suggestions for next month’s edition by tweeting at @michaelkruse with the hashtag #GrantlandStats.
Number of Seattle Mariners who combined to pitch a no-hitter June 8 against the Los Angeles Dodgers: 6.
Number of no-hitters pitched this year so far at Seattle’s Safeco Field: 2.
Number of times a New York Met had pitched a no-hitter in the team’s half-century history before Johan Santana did it in early June: 0.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
Tiger Woods moved into second place on the all-time PGA tour wins list behind Sam Snead by out-dueling Bo Van Pelt to win the AT&T National golf tournament at Congressional. "Operation Kill Tiger must now enter the next phase," said a member of the Sam Snead Legacy Foundation on a clandestine phone call. "Also, we should think about changing the name. Not very subtle, Gene. Son of a gun, I did it again. No names on the phone. Always forgetting that. Always forgetting that."
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thurday.
Lukas Rosol, virtually unknown in the tennis world, upset Rafael Nadal in the second round at Wimbledon, prevailing with a spectacular fifth set on center court. Things took an ugly turn late in the fourth set when Nadal began to "accidentally" dump clay that he keeps hidden in various parts of his body onto the Wimbledon grass.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Tim Lincecum struck out eight over seven scoreless innings to earn his first win in two months and give the Giants their third straight shutout against the Dodgers, propelling them into a tie for first place in the NL West. The 3-0 win was such a relief for Lincecum that he shook his head around dramatically in the shower, eyes closed, wet hair flying everywhere, clearly pretending he was in a triumphant sports movie. Players nearby reported that he could be heard singing the words to Styx's "Show Me the Way," which everyone thought was pretty much a perfect choice for that scene.
Last time around, I did a preview of the quarterfinals. I picked Germany, Portugal, France, and Italy. If my success rate at crossing the street was as good as my success rate at picking knockout soccer matches, I would be dead. So let's take a look at the semifinals!
At long last, Rog gets out from in front of the television and emigrates to Donetsk (the Crappiest Part of Ukraine) to provide some on-the-ground insight of the wonder that is the Euro 2012. In this bi-continental podcast, the Men in Blazers cover all the peculiarities of Polkraine, including press conference posturing, obese Ukrainian television pundits, and, of course, Chicken Kiev.
Plus, Michael and Roger offer a Euro Eulogy for their beloved England following the latest masochistic penalty kick loss, this time to Italy, and preview this week's semifinals. While everyone expects Spain vs. Germany in the final, the blazered men imagine a different scenario.
Former France national team manager Raymond Domenech believes in things that you and I do not. Using astrology to help pick his team, for one. But here's one thing Domenech believes that seems to be right on: Karim Benzema, Hatem Ben Arfa, and Samir Nasri are not good enough for France. When Domenech was manager of the France national team, he resisted cries to include these young players, who were the core of France’s under-17 European Championship squad in 2004. And when the French players revolted and refused to practice at the last World Cup, it seemed a blessing in disguise that they were not there. Heading into Euro 2012, the feeling was that under new manager Laurent Blanc, Nasri, Ben Arfa, and Benzema were finally going to get a chance to strut their stuff. When the tournament ended for France with consecutive 2-0 defeats to Spain and Sweden, and a solitary goal between the trio of Benzema, Ben Arfa, and Nasri, the knives were out after yet another debacle, and it is now hard to escape the feeling that French football is in a state of terminal decline and the current crop of players won’t be the ones to stop it.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
Nick Swisher broke R.A. Dickey's long scoreless streak with a three-run homer, and Robinson Cano hit the game-winning solo shot in the eighth as the Yankees beat the Mets 6-5 to win the Subway Series. The victory gives the Yankees legal control of New York's subway system, but manager Joe Girardi said they may still let the Mets and their fans use the 7 train to Citi Field. "Ehhh," said former pitcher John Rocker, "I wouldn't do that. For a couple reasons … "
Here's Portuguese football legend Luis Figo, sitting next to Portuguese football legend Eusebio, at Thursday's Portugal-Czech Republic quarterfinals clash in Warsaw. And here's Luis Figo and Eusebio right after Cristiano Ronaldo's rather definitive headed winner in the 79th minute:
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
LeBron James is a remorseless assassin, his own secret society, the ultimate trump card, the French connection and the Spanish main, a beautiful mind, the spirit of the eagle, a healer of souls, a printer of money, the first banana republic, the last crusade, a certified doctor of mojo, an honorary doctor of funk, and an honest-to-god NBA champion. And that's all I have to say about that.
How They Got Here: Portugal pulled off the unlikely feat — or what seemed an unlikely feat before the tournament — of making it out of Group B, the Group of Death. After a fairly close loss to Germany, 1-0, Paulo Bento's side got a game-winning goal against Denmark from little-known Silvestre Varela and a world-beating performance from Cristiano Ronaldo in a 2-1 win against the Dutch.
The Czechs got their pants pulled down by Russia in one of the most one-sided losses of the tournament so far (4-1, on the opening day of Euro 2012). Since then, they've taken their chances very well (basically the key to winning tournament games). Their opening goal against Greece was like watching CCTV footage of a mugging.
Happy Euros one and all! In this week's pod, the Men in Blazers gather to cover the conclusion of the tournament's group stage before the quarterfinals get under way Thursday. And what a fabulous tournament it's been. That is, of course, unless you happen to be SNL's Seth Meyers and a supporter of the once-mighty Netherlands.
In this week's pod, Seth joins Michael and Roger to recount what exactly went wrong for Robin van Persie & Co. It's a painful experience made all the better by a certain Amsterdam ale. Now, having been a longtime supporter of the Boston Red Sox, Seth pledges his allegiance to another long-suffering cause — England. Though the squad must still go through Italy and potentially Germany to reach the final, the Blazered Men are ever buoyant. Should the Three Lions prevail, could an SNL hosting gig be in the works for manager Roy Hodgson? Seth neither confirms nor denies the possibility.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
LeBron James scored 26 points and the Heat overcame Russell Westbrook's 43 points to beat the Thunder 104-98 and take a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals. James hit two huge baskets late in the fourth quarter after suffering thigh cramps that sidelined him for part of the game. Afterward, James seemed to realize the magnitude of what he'd accomplished. "Hey, remember when Michael Jordan had that one game where he played with the flu?" he asked. "Neither do I. It doesn't exist anymore. And if you ever mention it again, neither will you."
