My first Salary Cap Fantasy Basketball draft occurred entirely online between 16 people who didn’t really know one another, and lasted five and a half days. This sounds like hell because it is hell. For the better part of a week, I sat on my couch and memorized the salary of pretty much every player in the NBA. I now know that Trevor Booker makes $1,385,280, I know that Alec Burks makes $2,111,160, which is about $300,000 more than Kawhi Leonard. I have read every article speculating about the potential value of James Harden, Brandon Jennings, and Stephen Curry’s contract extensions. I exchanged 400 e-mails over the course of the draft. I can’t remember what happened last week on 30 Rock because I watched it while trying to decide between Omer Asik’s and Greivis Vasquez's annual salaries.

The first rule of writing about fantasy sports club is you do not talk about your own fantasy teams. The second rule of writing about fantasy sports club is you do not talk about your own fantasy teams, unless one of them happens to provide the perfect summation of what this almost locked-out, injury-riddled, stupidly unpredictable NBA season has done to the current fantasy basketball campaign.