You might have heard the Texas Rangers are selling a 24-inch-long hot dog called the Boomstick. “Where’s the big one?” I asked Arlington concession stand workers the other night, holding my hands apart about two feet. They pointed me down the first-base line. There, sizzling on a flat top, I saw Boomsticks, looking as plump as their namesake, Nelson Cruz.
The Boomstick is served in a cardboard carrying case with two handles. The case looks like one a photographer uses to carry a tripod, or — maybe a better metaphor — an assassin uses to hide his rifle. The Boomstick is nearly impossible to pick up with tongs. You could watch concessions stand workers do this for nine innings and never get bored. You do not eat the Boomstick plain. You eat it with sautéed onions, chili, cheese. The price is $26. The Rangers sold 191 of them on Opening Day.
With the Lakers, Clippers, and Kings hosting a whopping 28 home games in 28 days from March 11 through April 7 — all happening at Staples Center, which is only a wind-aided Andy Lee punt from Grantland’s headquarters — we couldn’t resist attending these 28 games and writing about as many of them as possible. Click here for our coverage.
The Clippers beat the Suns 103-86 last week and I didn't care that much. I mean, congratulations to the Clips and all, but truth be told, I wouldn't have cared even if the game was close. That’s because my mind was on something much more important: food.
Stadiums and arenas make a huge profit from their concession stands, and fans seem more than happy to put up with outrageous prices for the privilege of eating Frito Pie Dogs courtside. For some reason, $9 burritos seem perfectly justifiable when you're watching Blake Griffin show off his new moon shoes. While stadiums around the country have beefed up their concession offerings to include more than just hot dogs and popcorn, they're still a long way from offering quality grub. At Staples Center, you've got several different food venues, but if you're looking for anything out of the ordinary, you have to create it yourself. So I did.
Introducing the Staples Center Secret Menu. If you're at all familiar with In-N-Out Burger, you're also familiar with its secret menu. It's not really secret so much as just being creative with all the offered toppings. That was my guiding principle here: Take items that already exist and turn them into new dishes that pay tribute to my favorite Clippers. If you're extremely nice to the concession stand workers, they'll make these for you. Otherwise, you'll have to play Chef BoyarSterling to put them together yourself.