Anyone in my life can tell you that I have a serious problem when it comes to Fear of Missing Out. I could be off having a good time — a great time — but the moment I hear that something else is happening somewhere else, the fear begins to creep in. Uh-oh, is that more fun than this? Nah. Wait is it? It’s exhausting. This crippling dread manifests most fully in three areas: two or more of my friends attending a live music event, second-Thursday-of-the-month night at Wrightwood Tap in Chicago, and NFL free agency.
For the most part, I, as a Bears fan, should be happy with what’s gone down this week. Tight end Martellus Bennett was the best player available at a position of dire need, and although opinions are split about the money given to left tackle Jermon Bushrod (not really — most people think he got way too much money), two things about the signing are undeniable — the Bears now have another starting-caliber tackle in the fold, and GM Phil Emery now has infinitely more flexibility in the draft’s first round.
With both deals getting done in the first few hours of free agency, I should’ve been able to take the rest of the week off — give the refresh button on my browser a break and let other teams and fans open their new toys. Sadly, because I suffer from sports anhedonia, that just wasn’t an option. I watched with bitter jealousy as other teams cheaply picked off players I wanted or enjoy watching, and by this morning, that feeling had mostly enveloped any joy I’d taken earlier in the week. So I figured I might as well share my pain and lay out the fan bases that have garnered most of my jealousy.