In case you were out changing the world with the first-ever mass-produced backyard eagle coop (patent pending), here's what you missed in sports on Thursday:
On a day when men in the trenches were in demand, the Kansas City Chiefs selected OT Eric Fisher out of Central Michigan with the first overall pick in the NFL draft. "Oh, that's awesome, I love Eric Fisher," said casual Chiefs fan and Kansas City transplant Bill Franzen. "I remember watching him in college and thinking to myself, 'Man, I hope that guy ends up on my Chiefs.' What an exciting year to have the top pick in the draft. I remember last year; I was in the break room at the actuarial firm where I work, and I was like, 'This team is an Eric Fisher–type talent away from contending.' I just can't wait to watch him stop guys from hitting newly acquired quarterback Alex Smith next year." Franzen then paused, looked over his shoulders and asked in a whisper, "Right? Was that a good reaction to have? I have no idea what to think."
Manti Te'o was among the high-profile prospects to drop out of the first round of the NFL draft. Te'o's embarrassment was compounded by a phone call he received from someone purporting to be an NFL general manager. "He said his name was Trick Footballsworth of the Los Angeles Footballers and that I was for sure going to be his first-round pick," a sheepish Te'o explained after the first round was over. "All I had to do was give him my social security number, some bank passwords, and then mail my car keys to a P.O. Box in Simi Valley. Anyone could've fallen for that, though, so I'm not going to beat myself up too hard over this. Though I do need a ride."
We're back for 2013, and my only hope is that this is the year we finally have a quadruple play. It's been so long. And with that wish in our hearts, here are the top 10 stories/players/matchups heading into the weekend.
10. The Weird Constant Interleague Series (LAD-BAL)
Now that the Astros have betrayed and abandoned the National League and joined the AL Central (that's how it went down, right?), there are 15 teams in each league instead of the previous 16-14 split. That means on any given Friday, there will be seven NL games, seven AL games, and one crazy, weird, fun interleague series. This weekend, it's Dodgers-Orioles in what I'm calling "The Battle Between Yankees Envy Past and Yankees Envy Present." Kind of a long name, but you get the point. Both teams are off to mediocre starts and looking to string a few wins together.
A Miami New Times article reports that six MLB players purchased a variety of drugs from Miami-based antiaging clinic Biogenesis, marking the latest jolt for a sport that's gone from willful compliance to zealotry when it comes to PED suspicions.
The article lists Alex Rodriguez, Melky Cabrera, Bartolo Colon, and Yasmani Grandal among the players who allegedly bought performance-enhancing drugs from the clinic and its former proprietor, Anthony Bosch. These allegations are the result of a three-month investigation by the Miami New Times, where the focal point of the evidence is a spreadsheet kept by Bosch, said to contain a list of his clients, and a stack of notebooks found by Juan Garcia. The article notes that Garcia was a former client of Bosch's who invested in the clinic. Rodriguez admitted in a 2009 press conference that he'd used PEDs years earlier while playing with the Texas Rangers, at a time when said substances weren't specifically outlawed by Major League Baseball. Cabrera, Colon, and Grandal were all suspended last year for violating MLB's drug policy. We'll get to their cases later.
The other two active major leaguers named in the article, Gio Gonzalez and Nelson Cruz, had never been publicly linked to performance-enhancing drugs before publication of the New Times piece. The mention of Gonzalez, in particular, is jarring, given the screaming lack of evidence he did anything wrong and the guilt by association he's now forced to endure.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Andy Murray won his first career Grand Slam, outlasting Novak Djokovic in a five-set marathon to take the U.S. Open title. The Scottish Murray credited his win to watching the inspirational parts from Braveheart before the match, while Djokovic blamed his loss on watching scenes from the depressing Serbian silent art house film A Lifetime of Sidewalks.
Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.
10. Reality Cometh for One (BAL-CLE)
Now for this weekend’s metaphorical boxing match between two of the luckiest teams in baseball. In one corner, we have the Baltimore Orioles — 48-44, in a really good division, with a run differential of -55. In this corner, you've got the Cleveland Indians, standing 47-45 in a pretty good division, with a run differential of -36. Stick with me while I analyze these teams with some complex baseball terminology: They are total flukes. In games decided by two runs or less, the Orioles are 32-14 (first in baseball), and the Indians are 25-16 (good for fourth). But do they have great starting pitching? Nope. Do they have great bullpen pitching? Baltimore is pretty solid, but Cleveland is near the bottom. What about run-scoring from the seventh inning on? Again, average to below average for both. Average with RISP and two outs? Mediocre. All this means that both teams have been very, very lucky to stay above, and that both are due for bad times. If you get excited by regression, then you'll be riveted by this series, where cold, hard, statistical truth will dig its icy claws into temporary luck.
Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.
The extended All-Star break is officially the worst development in American sports. What am I supposed to do with my life? Actually go outside? No thanks. The only time I want to go outside is if there's an outdoor TV showing baseball. And even then, why not bring the TV inside where there are chips? Baseball players are selfish and should be forced to play tripleheaders for the rest of the season.
Given the chance, I will ramble on for hours at a time about Major League Baseball's asinine blackout policy, and how it unfairly deprives me of Nationals and Orioles games, 250 miles southwest, here in Chapel Hill. Prior to 2012, the big problem for me was that I couldn't watch the 18 Yankees-Orioles games each season. That ranks pretty low on the tragedy totem, particularly since the Orioles were mostly terrible. And the Nationals? They barely merited a footnote in the whole discussion. Then Stephen Strasburg came back full-time from his Tommy John surgery, Gio Gonzalez was traded from the As, and suddenly the Nationals had the most exciting one-two punch in baseball. With the emergence of Bryce Harper, and the terrific third-spot pitching of Jordan Zimmermann, the city that had last won a World Series in 1924 and last made the postseason in 1933 was now home to a first-place team.
And in North Carolina, they weren't on TV. So this weekend, with Strasburg set to pitch Friday and Gonzalez in line for Saturday, in a three-game series with the Rockies, I decided to beat the blackout by driving up to D.C. to see them in person. If you've missed out on these guys so far, here's a quick recap: At the All-Star Break, they're top seven in WAR in baseball. Both have ERAs under 3.00, and are top three in FIP, trailing only Zack Greinke. Both are All-Stars (unlike Greinke), and both strike out batters at extremely high rates (first and third, respectively). I could go on, but you get the gist: These guys are really, really good.
Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.
10. Zack Greinke's Chance for a Classic F-You Game (Saturday, MIL-HOU)
Let me make my case for Zack Greinke as an All-Star. Bear with me, because I'm going to use a revolutionary stat-comparison technique, where I take certain key stats of Greinke's and match them up against the rest of Major League Baseball. So, compared to every other qualified pitcher in the game, Greinke is: Second in FIP. Second in WAR. Hell, how about we just stop there? By two of the most reliable overall pitching metrics, he's the second best pitcher in baseball. Good enough, right? No? Does the All-Star Game just have one pitcher now? They're only inviting Justin Verlander? Ah, you need more convincing? OK: Ninth in HR/FB rate. Third-lowest HR/9 rate. Top 20 walk rate. Top 20 strikeout rate. Top 20 fastball, top 10 two-seam fastball, enough.
Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.
10. Jose Bautista's Incredible June (TOR-LAA)
Bautista now has 14 home runs in June, which ties the American League record from the past 20 years (thanks, ESPN Stats & Information!). The all-time AL record is held by a fellow named Rudy York, who hit 18 with the Detroit Tigers in August 1937. He was probably juicing. But Bautista is theoretically in range. Four home runs over a weekend series? Why not? Except, wait ... June has only 30 days! Injustice! Why, June, why?! That means Sunday's game won't count. But if he hits his 18th home run on July 1, I'm petitioning Bud Selig to add an asterisk to York's record, Ford Frick style.
