In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
North Carolina advanced to the Sweet 16 with a win over Creighton, but paid a steep price when point guard Kendall Marshall fractured his wrist. Marshall is the second Tar Heel to suffer a wrist injury in recent weeks, after center John Henson sustained a sprain that kept him out of the ACC tournament championship. "Weak wrists," said former Syracuse assistant Bernie Fine, shaking his head sadly. "I guess my masturbation drills don't look so 'bizarre' now, do they, America?"
Bill Simmons headed back to Boston for the 2012 MIT Sloan Sports Analytics Conference. At Sloan, he was joined Eric Mangini, who just finished his first season as an ESPN NFL analyst.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
West Virginia broke the record for most points scored in a bowl game with a 70-33 win over Clemson in the Orange Bowl. It was an ignominious end to the season for ACC football, but at least the conference can count on great basketball teams like Duke to restore its reputation against non-conference opponents.
It looks like David Stern picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. After a lengthy and contentious lockout, a brief antitrust skirmish, and the cancellation of 16 regular season games, the owners and the NBPA finally agreed to terms on a new collective bargaining agreement. The months of bad publicity quickly washed away, and then Stern stepped right into the Chris Paul nightmare, vetoing a three-team trade that would have sent the inevitably-soon-to-be-ex-Hornet Paul to the Lakers, Pau Gasol to the Rockets, and a solid core of players — Luis Scola, Kevin Martin, Lamar Odom, and Goran Dragic — to the league-owned Hornets. Meanwhile, Stern and the Hornets continue to search for a trading partner for Paul.
To complete our community service (and get off probation), we proudly present the second half of our Men in Blazers' NBA-to-English Premier League Global Football Team Support Translator. It’s our charitable attempt to ease the withdrawal pains of our basketball-loving brothers and sisters who have been so cruelly forced to go cold turkey.
Please note: This guide is objective and scientific. It’s the result of crunching data through our CDC 6600 supercomputer, which processed a series of complex variables through a proprietary MiB algorithm, punching out the below results on ticker tape.
