With the Lakers, Clippers, and Kings hosting a whopping 28 home games in 28 days from March 11 through April 7 — all happening at Staples Center, which is only a wind-aided Andy Lee punt from Grantland’s headquarters — we couldn’t resist attending these 28 games and writing about as many of them as possible. Click here for our coverage.

The Clippers beat the Suns 103-86 last week and I didn't care that much. I mean, congratulations to the Clips and all, but truth be told, I wouldn't have cared even if the game was close. That’s because my mind was on something much more important: food.

Stadiums and arenas make a huge profit from their concession stands, and fans seem more than happy to put up with outrageous prices for the privilege of eating Frito Pie Dogs courtside. For some reason, $9 burritos seem perfectly justifiable when you're watching Blake Griffin show off his new moon shoes. While stadiums around the country have beefed up their concession offerings to include more than just hot dogs and popcorn, they're still a long way from offering quality grub. At Staples Center, you've got several different food venues, but if you're looking for anything out of the ordinary, you have to create it yourself. So I did.

Introducing the Staples Center Secret Menu. If you're at all familiar with In-N-Out Burger, you're also familiar with its secret menu. It's not really secret so much as just being creative with all the offered toppings. That was my guiding principle here: Take items that already exist and turn them into new dishes that pay tribute to my favorite Clippers. If you're extremely nice to the concession stand workers, they'll make these for you. Otherwise, you'll have to play Chef BoyarSterling to put them together yourself.