Oh, really, JaVale? What do the people want, then? A living, breathing Not Top 10 that retweets his retweet-starting tweets? Is that it?
Probably. Yeah, they most certainly want that over Luther Vandross. 100 percent. Or maybe you, Javale, singing the song. We remember when you rendered Adele irrelevant, so why not do the same to Luther Vandross?
Fool me on an adopted fake platypus, and I shrug it off. But there's no insulting of Luther. Never. Not even jokingly. If for no other reason, because you were probably conceived to "If Only for One Night."
A survey of the players and teams making moves in last night's NBA action.
1. George Karl
Chris Ryan: Last night's Thunder-Nuggets clash wasn't exactly the basketball game you meet in heaven that I had billed it as (to myself) (I may have sent you an e-mail about it), but it was pretty instructive. I think it's becoming harder and harder to quantify what coaches do in the NBA, if only because it's becoming easier to do so for players. We can see where players should shoot, where they shouldn't, we can watch them take 200 elbow jumpers on Synergy, and talk about how efficient or effective they are when they take them. For almost everything we might think about a player's game, we have a number to support or poke holes in our convictions. For coaching, though, we're still just guessing, really; reading body language, judging substitution patterns, second-guessing timeout calls at the end of games. If you're like me, you judge them by their hair. (Hi, Vinny.)
By Grantland Staff at
Aaron Ontiveroz/The Denver Post via Getty Images
So much amazing is happening, and the Shootaround crew is here to help you keep track of it all. You'll find takes on moments you might've missed from the previous night, along with ones you will remember forever.
netw3rk: Without narratives our brains would be lost in a chaotic swirl of disparate and unconnected events. Narratives are the stories we tell ourselves. It's the way we imbue our lives with meaning. Without narratives we would all go through our lives like some debauched French existentialist philosopher with Memento disease. Are sports narratives reductive and dumb sometimes? Heck yeah; most times even. But the alternative would mean confronting the reality that you are watching dudes run back and forth, meaninglessly bouncing a ball, as time flows inexorably toward the eventual destruction of Earth when it is swallowed by our aging sun. That's no fun at all. So without any further ado, here are 16 mainstream narratives pertaining to the Knicks-Nuggets game in Denver presented in March Madness bracket form.
A survey of the players and teams making moves in last night's NBA action.
1. The 3-Point Shooting of the Denver Nuggets
Sometime during the second quarter of last night's Clippers-Nuggets game, I did a Twitter search for "zone is for cowards." This term, coined (I believe) by Bomani Jones, is something I actually agree with. It's not because I don't think zone defense is effective' I just think it looks bad, aesthetically. Like they did against the Thunder on Sunday, head coach Chris Paul Vinny Del Negro and the Clippers went to a match-up zone defense to frustrate the high-flying, interior-decorating Denver offense. And it seemed to work for a bit; the Nuggets, for once, were the team that looked like they weren't getting enough oxygen. Then came the third quarter, and Denver found its range, hitting 6-of-7 from deep, outscoring L.A. by 10 in the quarter. We've all gotten used to seeing this from Denver:
By Chris Ryan at
Gary Dineen/NBAE via Getty Images
A survey of the players and teams making moves in last night's NBA action.
1. Monta Ellis
Ellis had 34 points on 15-21 shooting last night, leading his Milwaukee team to their second overtime win in as many games (this time over the Jazz), and their fourth straight win overall. With J.J. Redick in the lineup, Monta's averaging 21.5 points, 9.3 assists, and 4.3 steals per game. He also does stuff like this.
Best part about this other than JaVale McGee's reaction (which is not quite this, but pretty close) is how the Nuggets announcers go from calling it the shot of the century, to the shot of the year, to "guessing" it's going to be in the top 20 shots of the season. HAVE THE COURAGE OF YOUR CONVICTIONS, GUYS.
By Grantland Staff at
Scott Strazzante/Chicago Bulls/MCT via Getty Images
So much amazing is happening, and the Shootaround crew is here to help you keep track of it all. You'll find takes on moments you might've missed from the previous night, along with ones you will remember forever.
Italian Ice
There’s really no way around it anymore — Marco Belinelli has become the most clutch player in the NBA. It started in Boston less than a week ago. With the Bulls and Celtics tied in overtime, Belinelli put up a twisting, fall-away, physics-defying shot with 3.1 seconds left to secure the win. If it had ended there, I can understand how it might be considered an aberration. But it didn’t. Last night, with the game again tied, Marco dropped in a game-sealing, acrobatic lay-in with only a second left to down the Pistons:
When the Houston Rockets pried Omer Asik away from the Bulls with an aggressive offer sheet, the most pressing question (after "Who?" and "Him?") was if he could maintain his effectiveness with greater playing time. As a backup center in Chicago, the towering Turk had spent only 15 minutes on the floor per game. But in that limited sample, there were intriguing indicators that he could be a valuable big man. He was an elite rebounder — averaging more than 17 boards per 48 minutes — and his defensive rating was 92, which meant he surrendered fewer points per possession than Dwight Howard's career-best.
Now, Asik is considered a "surprise," despite being a very similar player to the one we saw as a reserve on the Bulls. In truth, he's gotten better. His rebounding rate is slightly up, his free throw shooting has improved, and he's committing fewer fouls (a consequence of needing to stay on the floor, one category in which he's slipped is shot-blocking). Asik has become more comfortable on offense and is now supplementing those wounded-circus-bear reverse layup attempts with new tricks, such as a cutting catch-and-kick to the corner after rolling off a bone-melting pick at the top of the key. In general, he's proved that his success in Chicago could be replicated on a larger scale, even if some of that success was bolstered by playing alongside Joakim Noah and the Bulls' army of smothering wraiths.
By Grantland Staff at
Garrett W. Ellwood/NBAE via Getty Images
Last season JaVale McGee delighted us with his investigative journalism, sense of direction, singing of Adele, and follow-up dunking. We will no doubt continue to cover JaVale's ups and downs, along with the exploits of his onetime partner in crime, Andray Blatche. But just for fun, we thought it would be cool if we tried to find this season's JaVale — the player with the perfect mix of on-the-court follies and social media highlights (or vice versa). Here's who the Grantland staff came up with.
By Zach Lowe at
Garrett W. Ellwood/NBAE/Getty Images
We all know the Lakers are the single biggest story of the season, with four great players trying to reach an undetermined ceiling within the Princeton offense — and despite an uncertain bench whose only plus defensive big, Jordan Hill, is already nursing a herniated disc. Miami and Oklahoma City are powerhouses, the Spurs play the most pleasing brand of ball in the league, the Wolves will be without Ricky Rubio for much of the season, and both New York teams will be unavoidable. Let’s reach beyond the title contenders and big-market melodramas and find this season’s All League Pass Teams. Here are five teams who have the potential to be both exciting and good.
This comes via JaVale McGee's Twitter feed, which is sort of veering toward becoming an all-caps Google Reader talking about the AFC West ("MY DENVER FOLKS DON'T LIKE RAIDERS? OH I AIN'T KNO THAT! MY BAD Y'ALL ... EVEN THO I DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL!") and, apparently, photos of fellow Nuggets big man Kenneth Faried dressed up like Cookie Monster. Rocky mountain high.
(ALL CREDIT DUE TO KENNETH FARIED'S INSTAGRAM AND WHATEVER RICHARD AVEDON–IN–THE–MAKING TOOK THIS SHOT.)
Life moves pretty fast in the NBA offseason. Lucky for you, Ben Detrick is here to analyze, summarize, and euthanize all the head-scratching, cap-busting, Bird-righting free agency and draft moves. He'll be checking on all the teams, division by division. For the Atlantic Division, click here. Today: the wild frontiersmen of the Northwest!
Oklahoma City
As the Nu Spurs — a Western Conference team with dynastic potential from a city that people mainly visit because their van overheated on the way to the meth lab — the Thunder are now operating with the intention of being terrifying. Just as San Antonio elicited moans from basketball fans when they nabbed DeJuan Blair in the second round back of the 2009 draft, Oklahoma City drew the coveted “Are you frigging kidding me?” response when Perry Jones III fell into their laps in the 28th slot. Even Miles Plumlee (despite having a name that sounds like a villain from Django Unchained) went ahead of him, inciting speculation that the Pacers were exacting revenge against the Heat by helping the Thunder.
With the 2012 season winding down, the list of NBA free agents is here, and, well, it sure isn’t 2010 anymore. With enough Diet Coke and backroom talks to fill a lifetime, the biggest prize of this year’s free agent crop elected to stay at Disney World for another year. What’s left is a class that, while lacking superstars, is full of impact pieces for the right team. We sifted through the list so you don’t have to, and below are five types of free agents we think teams will be looking for this summer.
The Foundation (Deron Williams/Eric Gordon)
In a class that’s thick around the middle and light at the top, Deron Williams and Eric Gordon figure to be two of the major gets this summer. When Dwight Howard lost his mind earlier this spring, it left Williams as the top guy in the class. A superstar point guard who can both score and be an excellent facilitator, Williams will completely reshape any team that lands him. Dallas spent much of this past offseason working its way into some cap room to bring the local guy home, and the understanding is that Mark Cuban is ready to back the truck up. The problem is there’s a Russian guy in Brooklyn with a lot more money. My guess is that Mikhail Prokhorov isn’t too interested in showcasing his new $1 billion arena with Johan Petro and @blackboipachino, and the Nets will be throwing plenty of cash D-Will’s way. If Dallas does manage to coax Williams to Texas, it’ll be a great way to properly use the last few years of Dirk Nowitzki’s career. Williams isn’t the best player on a championship team, but paired with another star, he’s a major part of one.
On the JaVale McGee front, news broke today that a bill has been filed in the Philippine House of Representatives to naturalize McGee as a citizen. Among other things, this would make him eligible to play for that country's team in the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Fascinating story, one that I'm very excited to see play out.
But believe it or not, that's the second-most important JaVale McGee–related news of the week. The other piece of news is more important, because it involves me, you, JaVale.
