Chip Kelly is the new head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. This is more exciting than it probably should be; obviously, coaches change jobs all the time. But this feels different, somehow. Kelly is the best contemporary offensive mind in America (that’s an arguable designation, but it’s certainly the argument I would make if you put a gun to my head and started asking bizarre, subjective questions about football strategy). The Eagles are an elite NFL franchise in total disarray, habitually hounded by a fan base that despises everything (including themselves). There are landmines aplenty, all in the form of questions. Here are the main ones:
Clay Harbor, for whatever reason, does not have Wi-Fi. According to Robert Griffin III, Andy Reid met with him at the NFL Scouting Combine back in February and expressed interest in drafting him, which must be music to Michael Vick's ears, assuming he can hear the music over the ringing bells, since his concussion (suffered this past Sunday against the Cowboys) is now being described as "pretty significant." Cullen Jenkins feels like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, and Jeremy Maclin is defending himself against criticism that he's pulling out of routes, which, seeing as how Maclin has been treated like a crash-test dummy by opposing defenses this season, seems totally reasonable. At least he can take heart in the fact that he is apparently replacing Justin Bartha in The Hangover 3. Ah. That feels not at all better [opens 22-ounce Yuengling].
Dunta Robinson's helmet-to-helmet hit on Eagles wide receiver Jeremy Maclin cost the Atlanta Falcons cornerback $40,000 and probably killed whatever personal appearance prospects he had in the Philadelphia/South Jersey area for the rest of the man's time on earth. It also might have woken up the Eagles, just in time for their inter-division clash with the New York Giants on Sunday.