In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Despite Dwight Howard's 33 points and 14 boards, Steve Nash suffered a bruised leg and the Lakers fell to 0-2 with a 116-106 loss to the Blazers. "Look, I don't want anybody saying Mike Brown should be fired, or anything like that," Howard told the media after the game. "He's our coach, and I just don't want to hear that kind of talk. I won't stand for it." When the confused reporters began to tell him that nobody had suggested it, Howard cut them off. "It's way too early for that talk," he said. "Not cool, guys. Mike Brown? Fired? Way too early. Come on."
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Scott Rolen's fielding error allowed Buster Posey to score the winning run as the Giants beat the Reds 2-1 in 10 innings to avoid elimination in the NLDS. Now that's what I call a "Dust-Buster"! Because he beat Dusty Baker's team, and his name is Bust … hey, screw you, that kind of stuff kills overseas! Kills!
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Wei-Yin Chen pitched 6⅓ strong innings and Chris Davis hit a crucial two-RBI single as the Orioles evened up the ALDS at one game apiece with a 3-2 win over the Yankees. "Was this my favorite game? No," said home plate umpire Angel Hernandez, who was repeatedly forced to clean vomit off home plate after at-bats by "nervous pukers" Alex Rodriguez and Nick Swisher. "Swisher even tried to apologize, but guess what happened? If you guessed that he puked on me, f---ing bingo."
It's been a while since Chuck Klosterman and I banged out one of our marathon "We thought it would be 45 minutes but ended up going for nearly two hours, so we had to belatedly record an 'out' for Part 1 and an 'in' for Part 2" podcasts. Discussed in detail this time around: satellite radio, best music books, The Doors, the concept of eras for music and movies, Joe Paterno/Jerry Sandusky/Penn State, the NCAA versus Roger Goodell, Kentucky basketball, Jeremy Lin, the upcoming Olympics, our favorite Olympic sports and David Stern. I know, it's just as weird as it sounds.
You can listen to these podcasts on iTunes or you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 on the ESPN.com PodCenter.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Blake Griffin tore his meniscus at a Team USA scrimmage and will miss the Olympic Games in London. Which is particularly sad when you consider that, aside from Dwight Howard, Russell Westbrook, Christopher Paul, James Harden, and maybe, maybe Tyson Chandler, he had the team's most British name.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Melky Cabrera blasted a two-run homer to lead the National League to an 8-0 rout in the All-Star Game — the NL's most lopsided victory ever — and took home the MVP in the process. "I'm just glad Melky has the monkey off his back," said teammate Pablo Sandoval, adding, "we were all sort of wondering when he'd win an All-Star MVP." Josh Hamilton agreed. "As much as I hate to lose, this has been a long time coming for Melky. It's nice to see him realize his destiny." Even the New York Post chimed in, with an uncharacteristically lengthy and bland front-page headline: "WE NO LONGER LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE MELKY CABRERA HAS NEVER WON AN ALL-STAR GAME MVP."
Here’s a look at the numbers behind some of the biggest sports stories this past month. Send us suggestions for next month’s edition by tweeting at @michaelkruse with the hashtag #GrantlandStats.
Number of Seattle Mariners who combined to pitch a no-hitter June 8 against the Los Angeles Dodgers: 6.
Number of no-hitters pitched this year so far at Seattle’s Safeco Field: 2.
Number of times a New York Met had pitched a no-hitter in the team’s half-century history before Johan Santana did it in early June: 0.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski said he's taking things day by day after suffering a high ankle sprain, and is no longer wearing his walking boot. "Now I'm wearing a fun-time groovy sock-hop boot," he said, reading from a script typed out on Bill Belichick's personal stationery. "Just for kicks, Daddy-O. Dig it: I'm a … I'm a hubcap? … No, it's … hep cat. I'm a hep cat."
Peyton Manning told ESPN that he "feels good" and expects to play next season. In the same interview, he also asked Andrew Luck to stop mailing him copies of Shakespeare's King Lear and stacks of Metamucil coupons.
Not long after Joe Paterno became the head coach at Penn State, he received a letter from an alumnus, a doctor in the small town of East Stroudsburg. The Nittany Lions had struggled to win their season opener over Maryland, and Paterno felt burdened by the legacy of his predecessor, Rip Engle, who guided Penn State to Eastern football prominence over the previous decade and a half. “If this is the kind of football I have to watch at Penn State for the next twenty years,” the doctor wrote, “I want you to know I am going to start a campaign among alumni to bring in a Penn Stater to set football right with our university.”
This, of course, was 1966, a time when people still wrote poison-pen letters rather than spouting off in troglodytic social-media posts; still, the doctor’s criticism made little logical sense, since Paterno, a Brown graduate, had spent the previous 16 years in State College as Engle’s assistant coach. (It’s kind of heartening to note that this sort of knee-jerk petulance is not just a product of modern media; it actually predates Joe Paterno.) And yet it makes perfect emotional sense: There’s a deep-rooted sense of ownership among college alumni bases, an almost familial attachment to their respective schools. It is a unique dynamic that doesn’t exist in any American professional sport, and it is both wonderful and terrible. It explains why a college football stadium, filled to capacity, is the greatest venue in this country, and it explains why people pay for the privilege to lose their minds on subscription-only message boards that often focus on the college choices of speedy teenagers, and it explains why the majority of the Penn State community spent the weekend losing their collective mind over the hiring of the coach of one of the best offenses in the National Football League.
Last Thursday evening, upon learning that Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien had been brought on as Penn State’s new football coach, a frenzy of angst ensued. On the message boards: disbelief, declarations of war, people attempting to start petitions to convince O’Brien not to take the job. Penn State had taken 58 days to search for a coach, and in doing so, unwittingly built the sort of expectations that befell the creators of Lost: If there wasn’t something transcendent awaiting behind that curtain, a Nick Saban or a Les Miles or a Jon Gruden gushing about This guy and That guy, then what was the point? At the very least, people wondered, why not hire one of our own, and not some stranger who went to ... Brown?
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Matt Ryan threw for 224 yards and three touchdowns as the Falcons beat the Jaguars 41-14. "We're not finished, believe me," said Falcons coach Mike Smith. "Our expectations are much higher than winning seasons." Reporters attempted to get a comment from the Jaguars head coach, but nobody could remember his name.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
The new labor contract in Major League Baseball features several changes, including more replay, the possibility of divisional teams facing off in the first round of the playoffs, and a ban on players getting tattoos with corporate logos. Experts see this last clause as a way to ensure that Milton Bradley will never play in the league again.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
After months of drama and uncertainty, sources indicate that the Big East is set to add Boise State, San Diego State, SMU, UCF, and Houston to the conference roster. No word yet on whether they'll keep the name "Big East" as an ironic little relic, or just change it to "Crapville, USA" right away.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Marshawn Lynch rushed for 148 yards and two touchdowns as the Seahawks beat the Eagles 31-14. Afterward, Philadelphia head coach Andy Reid was so ashamed that he shaved off his mustache and tried to disguise himself as a normal fat guy, but the plan failed when a group of Patriots fans heckled him for his foot fetish.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Casper Ware scored 28 points to help Long Beach State upset no. 9 Pittsburgh 86-76. To add insult to injury, the Long Beach players returned to Long Beach, while the Pittsburgh players had to stay in Pittsburgh.
