Last night, just a few minutes after DeAndre Jordan was done putting Brandon Knight in a jar on his mantel ...

Grantland’s Bill Barnwell tweeted this:

Poor @realrobertmays wrote about the best alley-oops of all-time last week and now his list is out of date: es.pn/WgmnAk

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) March 11, 2013

I’d had a similar thought when the dunk happened, but I was doing my best to ignore it. I wasn’t ready to admit that all those hours I’d spent last week scouring the annals of alley-oop history were wasted. Alas, they were. The AOx+ (a.k.a. the wholly scientific metric used to determine alley-oop awesomeness) clocked in at 9.1, the second-highest figure ever recorded. That number is mostly a product of Brandon Knight’s death, and DeAndre reacting like he just killed Brandon Knight.

Because the previous power rankings are now obsolete, we figured this would be a good opportunity to sort through some of the other omissions that readers pointed out upon seeing the original post. With some thorough examination, we concluded that only one of these dunks (the first one below) was good enough for the new top five (sorry, Shawn Kemp), but the others are definitely among the best of the rest.

Some thoughts on the Lakers' firing of Mike Brown before I head to Madison Square Garden to watch two teams that are actually good at basketball in the present day play a basketball game against each other:

• This is a ludicrous move, and one that clearly speaks to some broader organizational discomfort with Brown as a long-term leader — a justifiable discomfort, considering Brown’s inability to rein in his top players over two seasons, the Lakers’ shaky defense (Brown’s calling card) over that span, and the weird management of his bench.

Blake Griffin, Andre Iguodala, and James Harden secured the final three spots on the U.S. Olympic men's basketball team, beating out Eric Gordon, Rudy Gay, and no. 1 draft pick Anthony Davis. Griffin may be the most interesting selection, because, more than anyone else on the roster, it's not clear that his game will translate to the international style of play.

Griffin isn't the typical international big who can stretch the floor, knock down shots, and play the pick-and-pop game. If you look at Team USA's possessions from the World Championships of 2010 and compare them with Griffin's from this past NBA season (using data provided by Synergy Sports), you see a stark contrast.

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.

• The Miami Marlins suspended manager Ozzie Guillen five games for positive comments he made about Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. Right before Guillen went out to address the media, a frantic PR person desperately tried to convince him to take off the green military cap and lose the cigar. "Oh come onnnn," said Guillen. "It'll be hilarious!" When the items were confiscated, he frowned and began to think.

In case Yu were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.

• In his major league debut, Japanese phenom Yu Darvish overcame some early nerves to reach the sixth inning and help the Rangers secure an 11-5 win over the Mariners. Despite the victory, it was an unpleasant experiences for fans in Arlington, who upon hearing the name "Yu!" would turn and say, "Me?" "No, Yu," the person would respond, and the other guy would be like, "That's what I'm asking, me?" "No, I'm talking about Yu!" the first guy said, until a third guy was like, "SON OF A BITCH, HE MEANS YU DARVISH THE PITCHER! I HATE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO AND WORDPLAY SO MUCH!" And that's when the guns came out.
• Second baseman Ian Kinsler said he and the Rangers have agreed to a five-year, $75 million contract. "That's $75 million for Yu," the Rangers contract negotiator said, pushing the paper forward. Kinsler eyed him suspiciously as he signed. "For me, right?" The negotiator made a head motion that was almost like a nod. "All for Yu," he said, as he grabbed the signed contract. "Wait ... did I just sign over $75 million of my own money to Yu Darvish?" asked a panicked Kinsler. "Don't be Darvish-culous," said the negotiator as he sprinted out the door.

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.

• According to sources, the Indianapolis Colts will release Peyton Manning after 14 years of service. Team owner Jim Irsay informed Manning of the decision on Monday night, after which the two flew together to Indianapolis, where they'll announce the news at a press conference later today. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry," said Manning, "because then I'd have to touch my head to wipe the tears away, and that is so, so painful. Wait, why are you … don't write that down. I'm fine. I'm good to play football."

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.

• Despite recent trade rumors, Celtics coach Doc Rivers said he is confident that Rajon Rondo will remain with the team until the season's end. "He can't leave," said Rivers, with a disturbing grin. "I've got his whole family held captive in my basement." He then held a single finger to his lips, smiled broadly, and made a long "shhhh" sound.

You Can't Go Home Again

Obviously Thomas Wolfe, writer of the novel from which our little sub-hed borrows its name, never met Kendrick Perkins or Lamar Odom. This is largely due to the fact that he died in 1938. But let's say he had lived to see Perk and Lamar return to their old stomping grounds last night. Surely he would have been kicking himself for naming a book that. He would've been like, "Damn, Tom, you played yourself." Last night Dallas and Boston hailed their conquering (and departed) heroes. And it was kind of beautiful.

This Weekend's the Weekend

To Watch the Best Division in Basketball ...
As someone who — from the time he learned to talk to when he moved away from home — consistently referred to every single place outside of Philadelphia as "down there," be it "down" the Jersey Shore, "down" Lima, Peru, or "down" Boston, Massachusetts, I am totally down with the fact that the Northwest Division features only one team in the actual Northwestern part of the United States.

It's the best division in basketball, the only one in the NBA that four teams with winning records (Oklahoma City, Denver, Utah, Portland) call home. Hell, even its basement dweller, the Timberwolves, is the most entertaining 3-7 team that I can recall. The Thunder are clearly the class of the division (if not the Western Conference), but don't expect the rest of the Northwest to fade any time soon.