You'll need to know who you're watching. Unlike in the regular season, when you become all too familiar with your favorite team's designated cipher, recognizing players during spring training often takes a well-trained eye. There are the many players wearing 70-, 80- and 90-something who you won't see on the big league roster for a few years, if ever. Then there are the "Is that who I think it is?" double-takes, the veterans who peaked years ago, only to show up in Mesa or Kissimmee or Peoria doggedly trying to fight their way back for one more shot at glory.
These are the NRIs, the non-roster invitees promised almost nothing — not a job, not a major league deal, nothing more than a chance to come to camp, overcome often astronomical odds, and somehow make the Opening Day roster. Today, we'll review the AL NRIs, one player from each American League team who fits the mold of failed prospect, faded star, or just someone with a story to tell (NL later this week).
In case you were out fighting off the pre-Valentine's Day crowds at your local florist, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
The Boston Celtics beat the Chicago Bulls, 71-69, at home in a low-scoring matchup of traditional Eastern Conference powers. "Even though we lost, tonight's game was as if the perfect game of my dreams sprung to life before me on the court," said Bulls head coach and former Celtics assistant Tom Thibodeau. "The game waved at me. I waved back. 'Hello,' I said. 'You may not be beautiful to others, but to me you are perfection.' The game giggled at me coquettishly, but it would not allow anyone to score. No matter, that only made the game more appealing to me." Thibodeau then, suddenly lost in reverie, began waltzing with an invisible dance partner as he murmured sweet nothings about defensive rotations and clogged passing lanes into her invisible ear.
They signed one of the best hitters in baseball history in a stunning move no one saw coming. They doubled down by inking arguably the best pitcher on the free-agent market. They ditched one of the worst-hitting players of the past 50 years. But the Angels may have just pulled off their shrewdest move yet — keeping a player they already had.
Over the weekend, the Halos agreed to terms with Howie Kendrick on a four-year, $33.5 million contract. The deal buys out Kendrick's final year of arbitration eligibility, plus three years of free agency. Even by conservative standards, it's likely to be a steal.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O'Brien has agreed to be the next head coach of Penn State. "I'm thrilled to be taking my dream job," O'Brien told reporters. "What happened to Joe Paterno, though?"
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Tony La Russa has taken full blame for the bullpen phone gaffe that may have cost his team a win in Game 5 of the World Series. He promised Cardinals fans this would be the last time he did a funny Russian accent on the phone to try to make Albert Pujols laugh. "Or at least the last time in the playoffs," he said. "You just don't give up high comedy like that cold turkey."
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Oh. Dear. God. That was the best and craziest night ever. Where to begin? It's time to turn logic off. Logic is officially dead. Baseball killed it. The sport just unraveled thousands of years of civilization. All is wild. On this brand-new morning, the heretofore uninvented insanity scale will guide us.
Insanity Level One:Talking to an educated pine tree about politics.
Mike Napoli hit two home runs as the Rangers beat the Angels 3-1. The win clinched home field advantage in the first round of the playoffs for Texas, where they'll be facing … well, we'll get there.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Going into the final day of the season, the AL wild-card race is a dead heat. Boston nearly blew an 8-4 lead, but the first two career home runs by rookie catcher Ryan Lavarnway, who only started due to injuries, were the difference in an 8-7 win over the Orioles. Lavarnway is a graduate of Yale, where he majored in philosophy. "Who the **** is this kid?!" asked irate Bills quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, a media darling for his Harvard pedigree. "That's my ******** turf, you *** ******* ****! **** **! *** **** ***, *** ******* *** ** * *****!"
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
The emerging month-long nightmare for the Boston Red Sox is closer than ever to being realized. With a 6-3 loss to the lowly Baltimore Orioles, Boston is now tied atop the wild card race with Tampa Bay. Their September record fell to 6-19, they no longer have their best pitcher available, and tonight's starter, Erik Bedard, is just 5-9 on the year. "But at least we've got our dignity," said manager Terry Francona, not realizing that Jonathan Papelbon had drawn the word "FART" on the front of his hat.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.
The Red Sox salvaged the tail end of a bad weekend with a 14th-inning victory over the Yankees Sunday night. Jacoby Ellsbury hit the game-winning home run, and the Sox, who dropped the previous two to their rivals, now lead Tampa by a single game in the wild-card race. Yankee manager Joe Girardi was ejected for arguing a close call at first base in extra innings, proving that both sides had a stake in the win. When questioned by the media, Girardi laughed nervously about the incident. Then he laughed a bit more boldly. Before long, he was laughing maniacally, and soon he was spinning around on the floor laughing in a really disturbing falsetto as reporters slowly backed out of the room.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday
Matt Moore earned an important win in his first major league start as the Rays beat the Yankees 15-8 and pulled within two games of the wild card and the idle Red Sox. His signature victory came against a lineup featuring such Yankee luminaries as Chris Dickerson, Austin Romine, Ramiro Pena, Brandon Laird, and Greg Golson. Afterward, Moore asked to keep the game ball, but Laird had already sold it to a fan for six dollars so he could eat his first meal in a week.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
The Yankees have clinched the American League East. A clutch 8th-inning single by Jorge Posada put the Bombers past the Rays 4-2. Posada admitted that he thought his hit came in the ninth inning, and wondered why everyone wasn't running off the field. Later, while his teammates were spraying champagne on each other, he asked manager Joe Girardi why the World Series was just one game this year.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday
The U.S. Attorney's office has amended the complaint against Full Tilt Poker, an online gambling site, to note that it was run as a "massive Ponzi scheme." FTP apparently didn't have the necessary cash on hand to pay out the accounts of all its players, and earlier this year still owed $390 million. Site representatives said it was no big deal, though, since they planned to make most of it back in a hold-em game with A-Rod later this month.
