In case you were busy trying to concoct a homemade flu vaccine out of common household spices, here's what you missed in sports last weekend.
The San Francisco 49ers, led by second-year quarterback Colin Kaepernick beat the Green Bay Packers, 45-31, in San Francisco to advance to the NFC Championship game. Kaepernick and running back Frank Gore combined for 300 yards rushing against an overwhelmed Packers defense. When told this stat after the game, Packers head coach Mike McCarthy said, "That's what it was! Run defense! I knew I was forgetting something. It was on my to-do list. I swear." McCarthy then pulled out a Palm Pilot, poked at it with a stylus for a couple of minutes, and then showed it to the gathered reporters. "Look, right here: 'Go over run defense.' It's always one thing you forget to do, am I right?"
The Seattle Seahawks rallied from 20 points down in the fourth quarter to dramatically cover the spread against the Atlanta Falcons, 28-30. Russell Wilson threw for 385 yards and ran for 60 more, accounting for three touchdowns in the cover. After the game, when asked about his team's success, Wilson fought back tears, saying, "We fought so hard; we left it all there. I'm just so proud of my whole team. It's hard to put into words what happened tonight. But I still aim to come out even stronger next time we play." The Seahawks will again go for the cover next September against an opponent yet to be determined.
Mario Chalmers released a rap video. I am now going to ruin your day.
Upon further investigation: Grantland has learned that Mario Chalmers is not, in fact, the man rapping in the video (now taken down) of Mario dribbling in slacks and living amongst the flames. Consider this fake-out the next level beyond fake celebrity Twitter accounts.
2013: The year of blue-check verified rapper-athlete music videos. Get ready.
And sorry, Mario, for calling you a drug dealer and also President of the United States of America. Ignore everything. "Has never lost and has always been a winner": officially stricken from the official record. Sincerest apologies.
Last Thursday, the Miami Heat won the NBA championship, beating the Oklahoma City Thunder in five games. This triggered a series of celebrations among the Heat players, Heat fans, and people who want to be on the Internet. These are the videos of those celebrations.
Dig a Hole, Mario. You're Buried
IS THIS A ROAST? I'm dead. I have no more breaths to breathe.
— Rembert Browne
LEBRON WOULDN'T LET THIS DUDE LOVE LIFE FOR ONE DAY. MVP.
— Chris Ryan
Jesus Navas gets the top spot this week, thanks to a nomination from Triangle editor Chris Ryan. Says Ryan:
Really into this goal by Spain winger Jesus Navas against Croatia in Euro 2012. He goes FULL YOLO. Who cares if it's an open net? He absolutely roofs it. As he should! You don't get that many opportunities to play in front of an audience that big. Especially if you're Jesus Navas, who once suffered from anxiety issues that were so severe they prevented him from traveling extensively with the Spanish national team. It's great to see him so confidently smash the daylights out of the ball in front of an international audience. Also? He kind of looks like the kid from Real Genius.
So much amazing is happening, and the Shootaround crew is here to help you keep track of it all. You'll find takes on moments you might've missed from the previous night, along with ones you will remember forever.
Two plays at the end of the game that illustrate how fragile, fluid, and frankly ridiculous all this clutch/not-clutch, real human being/real hero stuff is. Sometimes you kiss it high off the backboard and it goes in. Sometimes. Sometimes it's like what Kevin Durant said after the game: "I just missed the shot, man." Does it matter that LeBron James was lukewarm to tepid for most of the fourth quarter (1-for-4 from the field, but a perfect 4-for-4 from the line)? Or that Durant was a plastic explosive (16 points. SIXTEEN)? No, of course it doesn't. In these games, it seems like you play 47 minutes to build or destroy who you are in the last 60 seconds.
— Chris Ryan