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MARCH MADNESS

NCAA Prediction Guide for Stato-Mascotists (and Pacists)

By Shane Ryan at

Last week, I broke down the NCAA tournament by states, mascots, and relative pace of each team. This might sound arbitrary, but I've talked to several prominent scientists, none of whom stayed on the phone long enough to discredit the system. Now that we're two (UGH, fine, three) rounds in, let's see if we can pinpoint the trends and then predict the rest of the tournament.

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SUPER BOWL

The Disturbing Anti-Animal Nickname Trend in the NFL Playoffs

By Shane Ryan at

Something strange is happening in the NFL, and it's about time someone had the courage to speak up. The results of recent playoff and Super Bowl games reveal a deep anti-animal agenda that is frankly alarming in this supposedly "enlightened" age.

Serious accusations deserve some serious facts, and I'm ready to be the Edward R. Murrow of the NFL's emerging anti-animal controversy.

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CHANGE

Democracy Now: On the Sixers Mascot Elections


Philadelphia 76ers

In late November, the new owners of the Philadelphia 76ers announced that Hip-Hop, a doo-rag-wearing rabbit who was the team mascot since 1996, had “relocated to a rural part of Pennsylvania to start a family.” We can read between the lines. That’s corporate code-speak for “sentenced to 12 years in Frackville State Correctional Facility for his role in a home invasion robbery spree.” But whatever the cause for Hip-Hop’s removal, it may have been time for a change.

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