Let's just sum up this guy's week real quick: negged the President of the United States and the First Lady's lack of comfort with public displays of affection and called David Stern's proposal to have Team USA be made up of players age 23 and under "stupid." Barack, Stern. Ether. He probably told all those kids in the picture above that they would never amount to anything. And he will probably spend the rest of his life making sure of it. So if you're one of the kids in the above picture: I'm sorry. Also?
1891: James Naismith invents basketball. 1936: Basketball becomes an Olympic sport. 1978: Kobe Bean Bryant is born in Philadelphia. 1989: Barack Obama meets Michelle Robinson. 1992: NBA players represent USA in the Olympics for the first time. 1992: Barack Obama marries Michelle Robinson. 1996: Kobe Bryant is drafted 13th in the NBA draft. 2007: Former Duke guard Reggie Love becomes Obama's personal assistant. 2008: Kobe Bryant becomes an Olympian for the first time. 2009: Barack Obama is inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States of America. 2010: Kobe Bryant wins his fifth NBA championship as a Laker. 2011: Obama announces reelection bid. Feb. 2012: Michelle burns Barack on Valentine's Day. July 8, 2012: Kobe Bryant is named to his second Olympic Team. July 11, 2012: Kobe Bryant says his team would beat the 1992 Dream Team. July 16, 2012: Barack and Michelle arrive at Team USA's exhibition against Brazil.
Editor's Note: Welcome back to our series Rembert Explains the '80s. Up until now, we've e-mailed 24-year-old Rembert Browne a video from the 1980s that he hasn't seen. Rembert would write down his thoughts as he's watching it, then we'd post those thoughts here. This time, however, instead of attempting to explain the '80s, we tasked him with explaining the antics of those almost in their 80s. This first 80s installment was selected by our editor-in-chief, Bill Simmons: The Thrilla in Oldvilla — Joe Kapp vs. Angelo Mosca. If you have an idea for a future episode of Rembert Tries to Explain Why Old Farts Fight, e-mail us at email@example.com.