Grantland

Mike Napoli

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

About Last Night: Chris Paul's Flair for the Dramatic

By Spike Friedman at
Noah Graham/NBAE/Getty Images

In case you were busy because no one at the game of Celebrity you were playing could get Lark Voorhies, here's what you missed in sports on Monday:

  • Chris Paul scored his team's last eight points, including an acrobatic runner with 0.1 seconds remaining, as the Los Angeles Clippers edged the Memphis Grizzlies, 93-91, to take a 2-0 lead in their playoff series. "I don't know how he does it," Clippers head coach Vinny Del Negro said after the game. "Seriously. He seems to have a really good understanding of floor spacing and leadership. Is there like, a book he read? Because if so, could anyone tell me the name of it so I can throw it on my Kindle? It would be greatly appreciated."
  • The Chicago Bulls evened up their series with the Brooklyn Nets with a 90-82 win at the Barclays Center. The Barclays Center is not to be confused with Bar Clay Centre, also located in Brooklyn, which allows patron to both paint their own pottery and sample delicious Belgian ales. Team officials denied rumors that Nets guard Deron Williams, who went 1-for-9 in the loss, mixed the two up before the game. But afterward, there were a suspicious number of shoddily constructed clay trophies strewn about the Nets locker room with "Wurlds #1 PG," and "Chris My Paul," scrawled on them.
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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

About Last Night: Boston Forevah

By Spike Friedman at
Jim Rogash/Getty Images

In case you were busy spending time talking to loved ones, here's what you missed in sports on Monday:

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

About Last Night: Lake Show Ratings Still Terrible

By Spike Friedman at

In case you were busy justifying your documentary short's omission from this year's Sundance Film Festival, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.

  • Miami scored the final nine points of the game in a 99-90 win over the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center. LeBron James dominated the game on both ends of the court scoring 39 points to go along with seven rebounds and three steals. "We've been bad on the road this year by our standards, so I came out mad," LeBron explained after the game, before Kobe Bryant appeared behind him cloaked in a cloud of smoke. "Oh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it," Bryant said to James with a menacing laugh. A terrified James responded, "Why didn't you just beat us then?" Bryant grinned broadly at James and hissed, "your punishment must be more severe."
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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

About Last Night: Giants Get RG3'd

By Shane Ryan at

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday:

  • Robert Griffin III threw for 163 yards and ran for 72 more to lead the Redskins to a 17-16 win over the Giants. "At times like these, I really wish I knew some curse words," said Eli Manning. "So I could think them to myself and feel cruel for just a moment."
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MLB WINTER MEETINGS

Red Sox Make Their First Move With Napoli Signing

By Jonah Keri at

The Boston Red Sox signed Mike Napoli to a three-year, $39 million contract. Which raises the question: Which Mike Napoli are they getting?

Take a look at Napoli's past four seasons, the four in which he's played more than 100 games:

2009: 114 games, .272/.350/.492, 2.9 WAR
2010: 140 games, .238/.316/.468, 2.8 WAR
2011: 113 games, .320/.414/.631, 5.6 WAR
2012: 108 games, .227/.343/.469, 2.0 WAR

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FANTASY BASEBALL

10 Guys on Trial for Fantasy Team Murder

By Jonah Keri at

No matter how hard you study, no matter how hard you try to manage risk, there's a good chance you're going to badly overdraft at least one player. Even the best of us end up with first-rounders who perform like 15th-rounders. What's important is figuring out what to do once you've made that kind of mistake, then learning a lesson for the future.

So you can call this a venting session, and a teachable moment. Here are 10 of this year's biggest Fantasy Murderers.

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ABOUT LAST NIGHT

About Last Night: La Russa Doesn't Have Free Nights & Weekends

Tony La Russa
Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.

  • Tony La Russa has taken full blame for the bullpen phone gaffe that may have cost his team a win in Game 5 of the World Series. He promised Cardinals fans this would be the last time he did a funny Russian accent on the phone to try to make Albert Pujols laugh. "Or at least the last time in the playoffs," he said. "You just don't give up high comedy like that cold turkey."

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