For as long as people have written words on the Internet, there's been a baseball snarkiarchy. This devoted group of provocateurs has made a sport of mocking numerous players over the years. Often analytically inclined, they home in on a certain kind of player, prolific outmakers who get too much playing time, too much money, or both, because some team doesn't recognize what an on-base percentage black hole can do to a lineup. For years, the snarkiarchy targeted Neifi Perez. Then it was Jeff Francoeur. And while Francoeur remains one of the biggest hackers and worst everyday players in the game, he may have ceded the throne as the baseball intelligentsia's most mockable player to … Yuniesky Betancourt.
Last year, Jason Motte was one of the best and most reliable closers in the game, racking up 42 saves, nearly 11 strikeouts per nine innings, and a 2.75 ERA. He signed a two-year, $12 million contract in January, and was widely expected to have another big year banking saves for a playoff-contending Cardinals team.
We'll let the excellent news and analysis site Rotowire.com take it from here:
MARCH 23: Motte has what the club is describing as a "mild strain" in his right elbow that will keep him off the mound for at least a week as the team explores the severity of the injury and potential treatments, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports. General manager John Mozeliak said Motte will "likely" start the season on the disabled list with the flexor strain.
In case you were busy crashing Lark Voorhies's birthday party (and if so, kudos to you), here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Tiger Woods had a vintage weekend as he both reclaimed the no. 1 world ranking in golf and won his record eighth Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill. When asked if things could be any better than they are right now, Woods responded, "Um, yes. Yes, they could. You have no idea." When asked to elaborate, Woods responded, "No, I better not. I … I better not."
The Miami Heat ran their win streak to 27 games after a 108-94 win over the Orlando Magic. Miami forward Chris Bosh was jubilant after the performance, saying, "Big things are happening in Miami. I'm hoping this will finally get the media to pay attention to us down here. These 27 straight wins should definitely get us the attention we deserve."
On Wednesday, I covered 15 players with compelling backstories who've been invited to spring training with American League clubs. Per that article: "These are the NRIs, the non-roster invitees promised almost nothing — not a job, not a major league deal, nothing more than a chance to come to camp, overcome often astronomical odds, and somehow make the Opening Day roster."
The Baltimore Orioles were a bad team in 2011. Terrible, really. They won 69 games, finished last in the AL East, and allowed 152 more runs than they scored. If anyone other than Dan Duquette and the players' moms figured the O's could storm back, win 90-odd games, and make a run at the AL East title and maybe even a World Series, those true believers certainly kept their opinions to themselves.
Last year's Baltimore team — along with fellow sub-.500 clubs turned 2012 playoff entrants Washington, Cincinnati, and Oakland — offer hope for those teams already eliminated from postseason contention this year. With that in mind, let's take a look at the 16 teams whose playoffs dreams had been dashed as of Monday (i.e. not these guys), and see if we can find a candidate or two to be next year's Orioles.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
The NFL and the referee union released a joint statement last night announcing they had reached an agreement to end the lockout. Unfortunately, this probably means that troubled ex-Charger Ryan Leaf is now out of a job as a Division III line judge.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Ross Detwiler pitched six strong innings and Ryan Zimmerman slammed a key RBI double as the Nationals clinched the first playoff berth in franchise history with a 4-1 win over the Dodgers. Wait a second … is ESPN.com down? Weird. OK, just … be cool. This is no big deal. It's just sports. It'll probably be back up soon. Maybe read the New York Times or something. Maybe see what's happening in the world since you last checked. Hmmm … life expectancy is shrinking for less-educated whites in America. Am I less educated? I'm definitely white. I went to college, so maybe I'm OK. But I don't have a Master's degree. Oh God, I'm screwed, I'm going to die. I don't want to read this. Come back, ESPN. Just please come back.
Trying to handicap the home stretch of a pennant race is an exercise in futility. Can Nate McLouth and Lew Ford carry the Orioles to postseason glory? Will Ervin Santana and Dan Haren lead a huge Angels comeback after stinking for most of the season? Could the Brewers pull off a miracle? With so many variables to consider for each of these teams, these questions might seem unanswerable.
And, just when you think you've got it all figured out, there's this: Every contender is at risk of getting knocked out by a spoiler. Trying to deduce which lousy teams are most likely to blow up a contender's season is even tougher.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Adam Jones bashed an 11th-inning home run to lead the Orioles past the Mariners 3-1 and give the club its 15th straight extra-innings win, the longest streak in MLB since Cleveland won 17 straight in 1949. "I see what's happening here," said 1949 Indians manager Lou Boudreau, in hell. "My soul's not good enough for you anymore, is that it?" Satan sighed. "It's not like that, Lou," he said. "But I'm the devil … and the devil gots to get his soul on, you know?" Boudreau frowned. "Oh, don't start talking like you're some big hot shot. Fine, run off with some younger soul, see if it makes you happy." Boudreau crossed his arms and turned away, and Satan fumed. "Maybe I will!" he shouted. "And maybe he'll actually put some effort into the meals he cooks for me! I'm sick of eating this creamed corn every goddamn night. This creamed corn is shit, Lou! It's shit!" At that, Boudreau broke down in tears and ran away when Satan tried to awkwardly apologize.
The Brewers have moved 9½ games closer to the National League's wild-card spot in the past 39 days. The Phillies have also chopped 9½ games off their wild-card deficit in the past 37 days. Milwaukee now sits 3½ games behind St. Louis with 19 games to play, the Phillies four back, with 18 to play. If the Phillies pull this off, they'll complete the biggest comeback in baseball history; if the Brewers do, they'll end up just a tick short.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
American gymnast Aly Raisman won a bronze medal on the balance beam event final, and followed that up with a gold on the floor exercise. Beleaguered U.S. gymnast Jordyn Wieber finished seventh in the floor exercise when she experienced an unfortunate bout of Apparatus Confusion Disorder (ACD), leading her to mistake the floor for the uneven bars and jump around making weird swinging motions until she was tranquilized by her coach.
In acquiring Zack Greinke from the Brewers for three prospects, the Angels now have an argument for the best rotation in baseball. Better still, even if his first start ended in a 2-0 loss to the Rays, the Angels outfoxed their archrivals and improved their chances at a deep playoff run.
