In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
Josh Hamilton hit four home runs — only the 16th time that feat has been accomplished in major league history — in a 10-3 win over the Orioles. "This seems like as good a time as any to start collapsing," said Orioles manager Buck Showalter, as his players nodded in agreement. "I mean, if that's not a sign … four home runs? Come on. See you in 2013. Maybe."
Nobody knows better than me the kind of battery throwing, Santa beating, and goat sacrificing that Philadelphia sports fans are capable of. I am guilty of at least two of those things myself. Nobody knows better … except for maybe Washington Nationals right fielder Jayson Werth.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Angels hurler Jered Weaver threw MLB's second no-hitter of the season, striking out nine and walking one in a 9-0 win over the Twins. "Why couldn't you be perfect?" screamed Weaver's mother, who was actually Weaver himself wearing a wig and staring in a mirror. "You're nothing! You'll always be nothing!" Man, Jered Weaver is complicated.
1. Matt Cain and Cliff Lee didn't just dominate in Wednesday night's 1-0, 11-inning battle. They blazed through batters with the kind of speed and efficiency that evoked an earlier era, completing the game in two hours and 27 minutes. That was the fastest 11-inning game since June 13, 1978, when Mike Flanagan pitched all 11 innings for the Orioles in their 3-2 home win over Seattle and starter Glenn Abbott, who went 9.2 innings. That game also lasted two hours and 27 minutes.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.
Legendary Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt has stepped down after a long and brilliant career. "I'm just glad Pat and I can both call it quits after such a great and dignified lifetime in sports," said Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino. "With eight national titles between us and the eternal love and respect of our peers." When he heard Petrino's statement, Saints coach Sean Payton said, "Hey, I'm with you guys."
Sources report that Texas catcher Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez will retire as a member of the Rangers on Monday. He'll attend the game with his wife, Elena "Fudge" Rodriguez, and his two sons, Manuel "Sludge" Rodriguez and Felipe "Fatty Cakes" Rodriguez.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Bobby Valentine apologized to Kevin Youkilis a day after questioning his physical and emotional commitment to the team. Youkilis sat out with a groin injury as the Sox fell to James Shields (8 1/3 innings, 4 hits, 0 runs) and the Rays 1-0. Despite the apology, Valentine's original point about physical commitment seemed to hold true after the game, when Youkilis was spotted doing his famous "groin dance" for a group of female fans.
Welcome to the inaugural edition of Grantland's weekly MLB Power Rankings. Every Monday we'll size up all 30 teams, evaluating each one based on a combination of recent play, overall team quality, and statistical spelunking.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.
Detroit's Austin Jackson got the first walk-off hit of the season, an RBI single in the ninth as the Tigers beat the Red Sox 3-2. "Wait a second," slurred inactive Boston pitcher Josh Beckett, staggering out of the dugout to confront the umpire. "Thassa endofa game? Wha inning isst?" Luckily, he stumbled and fell before he could reach home plate, where he spent the next 20 minutes mumbling "you think you're better'n me?" to a piece of grass.
J.P Arencibia hit a three-run homer in the 16th inning as the Blue Jays beat the Indians 7-4 in the longest season opener in MLB history. The few thousand fans who stayed for the entire game — again, between the Blue Jays and Indians — remain quarantined inside Cleveland's Progressive Field this morning as experts check for signs of contagious insanity.
Even good teams have their weak spots, but really good teams figure out a way to exercise damage control. The following four clubs, all projected to be in the 2012 playoff hunt, could each be sunk by some serious bombs on their Opening Day rosters. Below is a look at how they got into this mess and what they might do to stop the bleeding.
In the past five years, the Philadelphia Phillies have won five NL East titles, two National League pennants, and one World Series. Now they have a chance to add a new honor: worst offense in the league.
Placido Polanco's hand injury over the weekend leaves Jimmy Rollins as the only healthy member of Philly's infield. This is particularly troubling, given that infield has been the team's primary strength for much of its five-year run. Ryan Howard has banged 262 homers in the past six years, with an MVP award along the way. Polanco has been a consistent three-win player, combining good contact with stellar defense at third. Chase Utley was a better all-around player than either Howard or Rollins in his prime. All four are well past their peak now, yet remain among the team's best players. With Howard out until at least June, Utley's status completely up in the air, and Polanco out for most of the rest of spring training (for now), the Phils might have to make do with a skeleton crew.
A rare personal interjection in this preview series, if you'll indulge me.
One of my annual rites of spring is to bet a few gummi bears on over/unders for MLB team win totals. Coming into last spring, I was 5-0 lifetime. Made two gummi wagers, one on the Rays over 84.5 wins (make it 6-0) and one on the Phillies under 97 wins. As I wrote at the time:
Philadelphia under 97
Another one of my favorite betting principles: Never bet on extremes. It’s really tough to win 100 games, or lose 100 games. Players, teams, and phenomena tend to gravitate toward the center, influenced by what Bill James calls the Whirlpool Principle.
We needn’t rely exclusively on fancy statistical theories for this one, though. The Phillies lost a five-win player in Jayson Werth. The latest on Chase Utley has the Phillies pondering ways to avoid surgery for a player who’s been top five in the game when at full strength. Domonic Brown broke a bone in his hand. The bullpen’s still a question mark. Jimmy Rollins's MVP season seems like forever ago. Ryan Howard is still the same beastly power hitter who’s highly vulnerable late in games against lefties and struggles defensively.
Even with one of the best starting rotations in a generation, there are too many risks here to assume an extreme season. The Phillies should still be considered (slight) favorites to win the NL East. But I’m not buying 98 or more wins.
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Monday.
Juan Pablo Montoya crashed into a truck carrying 200 gallons of jet kerosene at the Daytona 500 yesterday, causing a fiery explosion and sending the race into red flag conditions. Montoya walked away unscathed, and Matt Kenseth eventually won the race in the early morning hours on Tuesday. This is the seventh jet-fuel explosion Montoya has set off in the past three months, to the point that NASCAR officials are sort of wondering whether this is his "new thing." "If it is," said NASCAR president Mike Helton, "we'll take it over his 'old thing,' which was painting pictures of me in lewd pornographic scenarios on the side of his car."
By Shane Ryan at
Steve Mitchell/US Presswire Steve Mitchell/US Presswire
In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.
The Miami Heat, led by 30 points and 8 boards from Chris Bosh, exploded in the second half to take down the San Antonio Spurs, 120-98. Tim Duncan attempted to gain an advantage in the paint by quoting tragic poetry, but Bosh was able to play through his constant tears and remain effective.
Baseball's Hot Stove season is far from over, with Prince Fielder, Edwin Jackson, Roy Oswalt, Ryan Madson, and others still lurking in free agency, and the trade market still stuffed with possibilities. But several teams will end up standing pat from here, deeming the price tags too high for what's out there.
That could force a number of contenders to turn players who've never (or rarely) played everyday into lineup and rotation and mainstays. Leaving aside superprospects like Jesus Montero who are widely expected to produce fairly quickly, here are 10 unlikely likely starters who could impact pennant races in 2012.
