On Tuesday, golfer Sergio Garcia made a comment about inviting Tiger Woods over to serve him fried chicken. Woods responded the following day, via Twitter, noting that the comment "wasn't silly" and was "wrong, hurtful and clearly inappropriate …" The story instantly became newsworthy, with much of the response coming down harshly on Garcia.
Grantland staff writers Wesley Morris and Rembert Browne spent Wednesday e-mailing back and forth about the incident, and then some.
Wesley: What did you think about the fried chicken remark?
Rem: I've been sitting with it all morning. The Sergio comment doesn't even make me mad or rile me up. Maybe it's me becoming numb to really, really tired insults. You?
By Chris Ryan at
Drew Hallowell/Philadelphia Eagles/Getty Images
Chip Kelly has been busy revolutionizing the Philadelphia Eagles. I think it was Lenin who said all revolutions have casualties. The first casualty in Chip Kelly's revolution was Mexican cuisine. Kelly banned "Taco Tuesdays," a staple of the Andy Reid regime (why are you laughing?). It's all protein shakes everything up in Philadelphia now. The second casualty was music. The whole thing. Music is dead. Chip killed it.
The Internet is beautiful, in the sense that certain fads, memes, and obscure pieces of media have multiple life cycles, with each rise to relevancy enjoyed by new generations of online sleuths. Rarely are things that have been dug up true Internet "firsts."
I had to remind myself of that today, as a clip made its way to my inbox that, for a split second, I was sure had never previously been on the Internet.
But of course it had.
Five years ago, on April 13, 2008, NESW Sports posted an article titled "Michael Jordan vs Charlie and Martin Sheen, Video." The post described a show, War of the Stars, and at the end of the description were two video clips.
No, this didn't happen yesterday, and yes, the taker of this clip shot it vertically (a.k.a. YouTube's Kryptonite), but it doesn't matter. Because this is just beautiful.
From the same Dodgers-Giants game this past weekend that included a fan brawl comes this, a clip of L.A. Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp signing a baseball and then shedding his Dodgers hat, jersey, and cleats for a fan who, according to the YouTube uploader, is "fighting a tough battle."
According to the uploader, the third-base coach is the one who asked Kemp to come over after the game, which he did, and then some.
It's a short, simple clip, but it's always important to remember that occasionally these athletes, often perceived as in-game heroes, can actually mimic that mystique once the games have ended.
By Grantland Staff at
Jesse D. Garrabant/NBAE via Getty Images
So much amazing is happening, and the Shootaround crew is here to help you keep track of it all. You'll find takes on moments you might've missed from the previous night, along with ones you will remember forever.
He Ate the Bones
Bucks coach Jim Boylan on LeBron James: "I mean, what can you do?"
By Rembert Browne at
Linda Cataffo/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images
Yesterday, as teams began to prepare either for the postseason or a summer full of Yelping "fun things to do in Charlotte," two monster acquisitions took place, shaking the foundation of the National Basketball Association.
• The San Antonio Spurs signed Tracy McGrady for the remainder of the season.
• The New York Knicks signed Quentin Richardson for the remainder of the season.
If "monster" and "shaking the foundation" seem like reaches, it means you are wearing your "basketball abilities" hat.
Take it off. Burn it.
Humans with laptops and websites will try to convince you one of these players will be the missing puzzle piece who takes his new team from a conference finalist to a championship contender.
These same humans may use words such as "veteran" and "moxie" and "old-man strength."
Ignore all of that.
The only reason that you, fan of things, should be excited that two teams have made these 25th-hour acquisitions is because both men are easily forgettable cultural icons of days gone by, and, for a limited time only, are back in some form of limelight.
We must cherish this time we have with them. As we do that, let us not forget the gifts they have given us, for said gifts are plentiful and hilarious.
The order of events that have made up the Jay-Z–Brooklyn Nets narrative:
1. "Jay-Z buys New Jersey Nets, moves team to Marcy Projects." (False.) 2. "New Jersey Nets move to Brooklyn, Jay-Z buys team." (Nope.) 3. "New Jersey Nets become Brooklyn Nets, Jay-Z is minority owner in team." (BLACK.) 4. "Jay-Z with very small percentage of team ownership, but EIGHT STRAIGHT BARCLAYS SHOWS, MARCY STAND UP." (Oh, minority as in "small." But how small?) 5. "Jay-Z owns 1/15th of the Brooklyn Nets" (Not quite … ) 6. "Jay-Z owns 1/15th of 1 percent of the Brooklyn Nets." (There it is.) 7. "1/15th of 1 percent = .067 percent." (Yo, that's real small.) 8. "Hov is selling his shares, and that's only 350,000 dollars." (Accurate. Also: wow.)
Oh, really, JaVale? What do the people want, then? A living, breathing Not Top 10 that retweets his retweet-starting tweets? Is that it?
Probably. Yeah, they most certainly want that over Luther Vandross. 100 percent. Or maybe you, Javale, singing the song. We remember when you rendered Adele irrelevant, so why not do the same to Luther Vandross?
Fool me on an adopted fake platypus, and I shrug it off. But there's no insulting of Luther. Never. Not even jokingly. If for no other reason, because you were probably conceived to "If Only for One Night."
In the never-ending scramble to somehow make the NBA All-Star weekend as exciting as it once was, it doesn't help that its once-marquee event, the Slam Dunk Contest, is now the third most exciting dunk contest on the basketball landscape. Earlier this week, the Powerade Jam Fest, part of the McDonald's All American festivities, took place, and the overgrown man-child teenagers showed out:
Then last night, it was the college kids' turn.
Even before the first dunk was completed, it was clear this would be more exciting than the professional competition.
At 10:58 ET, ESPN reporter Darren Rovell's Twitter account tweeted a tweet.
Wow. Three minutes later:
In the attached link, we learn many an important detail about the future of the new Roc Nation Sports.
"[Cano] has left agent Scott Boras to sign with a company founded by Jay-Z."
"It [Roc Nation] is getting into the sports representation business through a partnership with Creative Artists Agency (CAA). This arm of CAA will be known as Roc Nation Sports."
"Cano said in a statement, 'I am confident that the pairing of Roc Nation Sports and CAA Sports will be essential in helping me accomplish my short- and long-term goals.'"
At the end of the piece, we also learn some interesting facts about Jay-Z and his very non-rap-related future:
"Sources say Jay-Z himself is planning to be a certified agent, first in baseball and eventually in basketball and football."
"In order to represent clients in basketball, he would have to give up his small share of the Brooklyn Nets."
Did you miss any of the hours of action (well, dudes eating gluten-free pasta and talking about hoops ... maybe not action in the Die Hard sense of the word) from yesterday's Grantland live broadcast from the Sports Guy Mansion Pool House? Want to relive some of the magic? Here's where you dreams come true, folks. Before they begin Day 2 of their epic broadcast, Bill Simmons, Rembert Browne, Joe House, and Jalen Rose bring you the finest moments from their first day of live-streaming. Check out the video highlights below!
Thankfully, within the worldwide abyss of darkness, there are a few examples of joy that make the filth seem tolerable. The thing about these pockets of good, however, is that the best ones are not found on purpose. They can't be sought out. You have to accidentally stumble across these goldmines.
This was the case as two sports-related events accidentally led me to the Internet's Eighth Wonder of the World. The first: Seattle Seahawks fullback Michael Robinson, in his spare time, interviews athletes on his web series, The Real Rob Report. This became big news earlier this week, as he landed an interview with Darrelle Revis, who spoke candidly with his fellow NFLer about his willingness to play for the Jets or whomever decides to take him.
Athletes interviewing athletes. Very interesting.
The second: Kobe Bryant, responding to questions about Ibaka's cheap shot on Blake Griffin, said, "I probably would have smacked him in the mouth."
Kobe being Kobe. Very interesting.
So we have athletes interviewing athletes, and Kobe being Kobe. What about, say, an athlete interviewing Kobe? That's surely never going to happen —
What is this? Where are they? How did this happen? When did this happen? Do either of them know they're being filmed? Who paid for this? Did anyone pay for this?
Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski had surgery on his forearm last week to clean up an infection. These are the kinds of things that happen when your arm is operated on three times in three months. But Gronk being Gronk, we feel like there are some extra-medical reasons for his infectch. Here is a list of those possible reasons:
Prolonged exposure to Tryst air-conditioning condensation, stripper glitter, taking an inadvisable amount of Mountain Dew baths, a splinter from a Tower of Terror malfunction, gator sweat, stuffed animal fur, sourdough bread crumbs that had been in Logan Mankins's beard since 2010, stagnant Typhoon Lagoon water, a little bit of price-sticker glue from the shrink-wrap of a recently purchased copy of Ministry of Sound's The Sound of Dubstep, over-application of complimentary Harvard-branded body lotion, Funyun dust, uncared-for Capri Sun straw stab wound, a little bit of Aqib Talib's homemade kimchi, the enormousness of Tom Brady's personal sacrifice.
Today was my day off. I was planning on doing some laundry, building a bookshelf, and maybe getting an early jump on my TurboTax, but then a picture of you, Andrew Bynum, was sent to me, via e-mail.
I sighed. Thoughts on the event atop your head clouded my mind, but I couldn't deal with this today. Because this was my day. And there was laundry to be done.
