Why won’t anyone at this Bruins-Canadiens game talk to Will Smith? Can’t they see that Will Smith is perhaps a little insecure about being at this sporting event by himself? What about you, guy in the red-and-blue shirt? Why aren’t you talking to Will Smith? Did Will Smith insult Canada? If so, isn’t Canada used to that? Why is Will Smith in Canada anyway? Canada, can we have Will Smith back? Oh wait — turns out there’s more video of this?
Great news, everyone! It’s Halloween, which means you have a solid excuse to get tanked on a Wednesday.
How rad is this holiday? I can only remember one miserable Halloween experience — when a kid made me cry in preschool because he showed up in a very scary monster costume for which I clearly was not emotionally prepared. In said kid’s defense: I probably didn’t even realize it was Halloween, because my parents just put me in some sort of backward orange cape/green hat situation, and then pretended like that was an acceptable pumpkin outfit. I mean, come on.
Halloween is the very best of the friend-oriented holidays, and I’m glad you guys think so, too. We received a ton of entries for this year’s costume contest, and after the jump, you’ll find our winners, selected by a crack team of Grantland editors. (OK, it was just me and Chris Ryan. Sorry.) Thanks to everyone who sent in photos this year. We really enjoyed seeing your Hallo-work.
Hey guys. What did y'all do this Halloweekend? Egg your jerk neighbor? Good! He deserves it! Hand out king-size Snickers so every family on your block would know you’re the 1 percent of your small town? I’m rolling my eyes at you. TP your cross country coach’s house? I hope you didn't twist an ankle, because he’ll get real mad.
Me? I cleaned my apartment, because I live a very cool and glamorous life here in Southern California. No worries, though! I’ll just live vicariously through your All Hallows' Eve adventures. So don’t forget to enter Grantland’s Halloween Costume Contest by sending us your pictures from this weekend. (E-mail us at grantlandhalloween@gmail.com. You can find the rules here.) Make sure to get us your entries by high noon (PDT) on Tuesday. (That is tomorrow, in case you're one of those people who can't do dates. Look, it's OK. I'm one of those people who can't do dates. I'm just saying. Deadline's tomorrow.) The winner gets a bunch of stuff. The losers still got to have fun this weekend. So BASICALLY what I’m saying is that there are no losers, really. Except me. Because I was cleaning.
1. Sergio Agüero: The Quiet Neighbor
Triangle Blog Brother/Rankonia Writer Emeritus Chris Ryan nominates Agüero, who is this week’s hero:
"Are we underrating Sergio Agüero? He isn't as prone to fireworks or setting off fireworks as Mario Balotelli and he doesn't have a deep, unquenchable love of golf like Carlos Tévez, he just scores goals. Alex Ferguson called Manchester City the noisy neighbors. But the only time there is a noise surrounding the Argentine, nicknamed "Kun" (King), is when he scores. And what a sound he created Sunday.
1. Chris Paul: !!!!!
Chris Paul! Unstoppable! Unforgettable! Probably some other "Un-s", too! Chris Ryan, whom you might remember as your regular Rankonia writer, nominates our hometown hero for this week's top spot:
"I've watched every minute of the Grizzlies-Clippers series. I've seen Tony Allen try to stop Chris Paul. I've seen Mike Conley, Jr. try to stop Chris Paul. I've seen Allen, Rudy Gay, and Marc Gasol try to stop Chris Paul together. I've seen O.J. Mayo try to stop Chris Paul for 90 feet and I've seen Quincy Pondexter try to stop him at the last second. It just doesn't matter. I don't think I ever really knew what it meant for an athlete to be unstoppable until I saw Chris Paul play basketball in the fourth quarter and overtime. Now that I do, I certainly won't forget it."
Man, is there a better way to respond to that Tim Thomas White House kerfuffle than holding a giant Obama head behind the net? Nope. There is not.
Thomas was back in D.C. on Monday night, a few months after his now-infamous Facebook post, in which he said that he believed the federal government had "grown out of control." He continued: "Because I believe this, today I exercised my right as a Free Citizen, and did not visit the White House." By now you probably know the rest. Thomas didn't accompany the Bruins to the White House, and missed out on this delightful photo op:
