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AN EPIX SATURDAY

Why You Couldn't Find the Bute-Froch Fight

By Rafe Bartholomew at

Let’s imagine, for a moment, that we’re back in the middle of the lockout-shortened, hyper-accelerated NBA regular season. It’s a Wednesday night and there are 13 games on the schedule. As a fan, it’s hard not to feel excited — Memphis is playing Oklahoma City, the Clippers are hosting Dallas, and Miami is facing the Knicks at the Garden. Then you turn on your television and the only game that is broadcast nationally is the Charlotte Bobcats versus the Sacramento Kings. Upon discovering this, you probably wonder, How the hell did this happen? (Unless you’re a graduate of Brigham Young University or a native of Glens Falls, New York, in which case you shout “Jimmer Time!”)

Fortunately, the networks that broadcast NBA games know better than to screw over their audience like that. Unfortunately, the networks that broadcast boxing do not.

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GRANTLAND TOP FIVE

The Grantland Top Five

Foster
Kirby Lee/US Presswire

1. Arian Foster, running back, Houston Texans

By all accounts, Arian Foster is something of a new-age goofball. His father actually named him after the Age of Aquarius, he majored in philosophy at Tennessee, he writes poetry, and he named his child Zeniah Egypt, in part because of his high regard for Discovery Channel programming. He is not the prototypical NFL mercenary, and so perhaps we should not have been surprised that Foster tweeted this spiritual observation about a hamstring injury that could keep him from playing in the Houston Texans’ season opener:


4 those sincerely concerned, I'm doing ok & plan 2 B back by opening day. 4 those worried abt your fantasy team, u ppl are sickless than a minute ago via Twittelator Favorite Retweet ReplyArian Foster
ArianFoster

Now, let me preface this by restating a truism that needs to be posted on billboards and sports blogs in 72-point type, like a surgeon general’s warning:

NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT YOUR FANTASY TEAM, NO WILL EVER GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR FANTASY TEAM, AND NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR FANTASY TEAM.

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