Twitter has got fantasy questions, we've got answers. Hot starts, cold starts, bullpens in flux, trade scenarios, a top 10 that'll start 30,000 fights, and much more, all covered in this edition of the Roster Doctor.

Stick with Wade Davis and Jon Niese? Or ditch ’em for likes of Vance Worley, Ryan Vogelsong, Joe Blanton?
— @jasoncfry

What the hell do I do with Jarrod Parker (10-team mixed league)?
— @nysportsfan2

The answer to these two questions is none of the above. In standard mixed leagues, there's no reason to stick with any these guys. Parker might've had a nice year in 2012, Vogelsong might've had a couple of good years, and Niese might've come into 2013 as a trendy sleeper. But these are all pitchers you should stream, and nothing more. Even in 14- or 16-team mixed leagues, I'd feel no obligation to own Parker, for instance. Sure he's been marginally better in his past three starts than he was at the beginning of the year. But even if Parker bounces back, you'd have a shot at comparable production by slotting the right Scott Feldman types into the right matchups on a weekly basis. It's more work to study schedules every weekend, scan the waiver wire, and find the perfect plug-and-plays. But fantasy baseball isn't an idle pursuit based almost entirely on luck the way, say, fantasy football is. You want to win your league? Gotta work for it.

There are baseball books that normal people buy, and then there are baseball books that obsessive, maniacal baseball lovers buy. Let’s put it this way — if you’re on a date with someone who has Moneyball or Summer of '49 on his or her shelf, you’re probably OK. But if your significant other owns Weaver on Strategy or Dollar Sign on the Muscle, you should excuse yourself, because you’re dealing with a real nerd. (That said, if you don’t think I’m one decent bassist from headlining Glastonbury with an electro-synth power-pop foursome called Dollar Sign on the Muscle, you’ve got another thing coming.)

Weaver on Strategy, as the title might suggest, is a look inside the managerial genius of Earl Weaver, and serves as something of a proto-Moneyball version of Clausewitz’s On War.

In Strategy, Weaver discusses at some length how he was fond of breaking in rookie pitchers in a long reliever/spot starter role before introducing them to the rotation the following year.

The swingman role has all but disappeared from the modern game, where managers are chained to the concept of the one-inning reliever like Prometheus to the rock. But one wonders why there hasn’t been an imaginative, risk-taking team who’s taken to breaking in young pitchers this way.

We're back for 2013, and my only hope is that this is the year we finally have a quadruple play. It's been so long. And with that wish in our hearts, here are the top 10 stories/players/matchups heading into the weekend.

10. The Weird Constant Interleague Series (LAD-BAL)

Now that the Astros have betrayed and abandoned the National League and joined the AL Central (that's how it went down, right?), there are 15 teams in each league instead of the previous 16-14 split. That means on any given Friday, there will be seven NL games, seven AL games, and one crazy, weird, fun interleague series. This weekend, it's Dodgers-Orioles in what I'm calling "The Battle Between Yankees Envy Past and Yankees Envy Present." Kind of a long name, but you get the point. Both teams are off to mediocre starts and looking to string a few wins together.

In case you were busy writing a sports recap column in which you carefully embedded subtle Game of Thrones spoilers, here's what you missed in sports this weekend:

• It wasn't easy, but the top-seeded Louisville Cardinals will be playing for the NCAA Championship after beating the Wichita State Shockers, 72-68. "This is my favorite time of the year; Cinderella is dead," Louisville coach Rick Pitino declared as he smashed a glass slipper at his postgame press conference. When asked what he does with the glass slipper when his team fails to defeat an underdog, Pitino replied, "What do you mean? These are my slippers. It's not like I get these specially made for this occasion. That would be weird."
• The Michigan Wolverines stormed out early and held on late, topping Syracuse, 61-56, to book a spot in the NCAA Championship game. "It's devastating," said Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim after the game. "Is there a 2-3 defense for the heart? Is there a rotating big man who can stop the tears?" When asked if perhaps he should develop an offensive plan to attack his emotions, Boeheim responded, "Why would you do something like that?"

In case you just saw the trailer for Upside Down and found yourself suddenly back to square-one on your big screenplay idea, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.

• Wide receiver Wes Welker has left the New England Patriots, signing a two-year contract with the Denver Broncos. "I always hated Welker," said Northeastern sophomore and Patriots superfan Aaron Sullivan. "Just like I always hated Clemens, Vinatieri, Damon, Beckett, Ray Ray, Manny B, and Tom Brady." When asked why he hated Tom Brady, who never has left a Boston-based team to play for a rival, Sullivan responded, "Oh, guy thinks he's so great because he never left the Pats. Real Pats leave. Period."
• The Miami Heat won their 20th consecutive game, beating the Philadelphia 76ers, 98-94, on the road. "Twenty in a row, that's a perfect game in Magic: The Gathering, am I right?" asked Heat forward Shane Battier after the game. "If only someone on this team would play with me. I have a sweet black/blue deck I want to try out. I tried to teach Chris Andersen how to play, but he kept folding up the cards and throwing them at me while yelling, 'Cacaw!' It was … disappointing."
• Kobe Bryant suffered an ankle injury while landing awkwardly on a late field goal attempt defended by Dahntay Jones, as the Los Angeles Lakers fell to the Hawks in Atlanta, 96-92. Bryant has been ruled out indefinitely with the injury, saying after the game, "Revenge isn't the sort of thing that has a timetable. Except for a 30-minute head start." When told of Bryant's statement half an hour later, Jones asked, "Wait, when did he say that?" before slipping on a loose piece of linoleum and bruising his knee.

Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.

10. Strasburg's Last Start in Washington (Friday, WAS-MIA)

It's easy to sit here, from a neutral vantage point, and say the Nationals are doing the right thing by pulling the plug on Strasburg before the playoffs. And they are, I think. Why risk an injury to a franchise player for the uncertain hope of winning a championship? If they truly believe that exceeding the innings limit would damage him in the long term, then yeah, they can't take the risk. Smart move, Nats. But now imagine being a Nationals fan. Your team is guaranteed its first winning season in franchise history, you'll almost definitely make the playoffs, and your management is telling you that the ace (OK, co-ace) of the staff can't pitch. He's not hurt, he's not old, and he's not struggling. This is the guy who is annihilating the rest of the league in strikeout rate (11.23/9, and the runner-up is teammate Gio Gonzalez, with 9.5/9), is a legitimate top-five Cy Young contender, and seems to keep getting better as the season goes along. And now he can't pitch with a World Series on the line? That's brutal, and I understand if emotion gets the best of Nationals fans and they start to think: Wait a minute ... why isn't this worth the risk? The club is damned if they do, damned if they don't. But I can't help but put myself in the fans' shoes, in Game 3 of the Divisional Series, when Edwin Jackson is pitching and Strasburg is on the bench, a designated cheerleader.

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.

• In the first night of the college football season, Marcus Lattimore ran for 110 yards and two touchdowns as no. 9 South Carolina held off Vanderbilt 17-13. I've never done this before, but Terrence the Grantland Robot, who can't type in lowercase letters and has recently overcome some personal issues, asked me if he could have the lead joke, and I agreed. I'm nervous, but go ahead Terrence: "BEEEP-BOOP-BOP-BEEEP. BEEEP-BOP-BOOOP-BIP-BIP. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM ME, AMERICA?! ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? 'MAKE ROBOT NOISES, ROBOT!' YOU'RE ALL RACISTS AND I HATE YOU! THAT'S RIGHT, 'ROBOT' IS A RACE. BEEEP-BOOOP-BOP-BOP!" ("Robot" is not a race, Terrence.)

Bill dials up B.S. Report regular Joe House to discuss Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, Andrew Bynum, Stephen Strasburg, RG3, and, of course, Jennifer Aniston.

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.

Hey everyone, I'm back. I got married last Saturday, which means huge changes for "About Last Night." I'm an official adult now, and I realized that some of my material is immature and inappropriate. It's time to clean up my act and become a lot more conservative and family-friendly with my humor. That way, everyone can enjoy a good hearty chuckle in the morning. But it's only fair to give you a "transition day" to help you prepare. In the items below, I'll use an example of "old humor" after the link, and then show you what the new, more adult jokes will be like in bold. Tomorrow, the old humor will be gone for good.

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Tuesday.

• With a silver medal in the 200-meter butterfly and a gold in the 4x200 freestyle relay, Michael Phelps now owns 19 Olympic medals, surpassing Soviet gymnast Larissa Latynina for the most medals of all time. When reached for comment via telephone, the 77-year-old Latynina couldn't be heard over my loud shouts of, "COLD WAR OVER! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
• American swimmer Allison Schmitt won her third medal in London, and her first-ever gold, with a dominant, Olympic record performance in the 200-meter freestyle. She then enjoyed an awkward hot tub bath with a naked Kathy Bates. Hold on … am I thinking of Allison Schmitt, or the movie About Schmidt? It's definitely one or the other …

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Wednesday.

• David Price struck out 10 batters over seven solid innings to earn his MLB-leading 14th win as the Rays routed the Orioles 10-1. "I don't want to say I'm the reigning king of baseball or anything," said Price after the game, "but man, read the papers." He then took out a "newspaper" called the Price Gazette, which he had clearly made at home, and which featured a Photoshopped picture of the pitcher wearing a crown under the headline, "The Reigning King of Baseball."

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports over the weekend.

• Stephen Strasburg struck out seven over six scoreless innings to earn his 10th win of the year as the Nationals beat the Marlins 4-0. In the home locker room, Ozzie Guillen took a long hard look at himself in the mirror and realized he had to motivate his team. It had been too long. Without wasting another second, he took out his iPhone and Googled "inspiring Fidel Castro quotes."

Here are the most compelling matchups, stories, and personalities in Major League Baseball for the coming weekend.

The extended All-Star break is officially the worst development in American sports. What am I supposed to do with my life? Actually go outside? No thanks. The only time I want to go outside is if there's an outdoor TV showing baseball. And even then, why not bring the TV inside where there are chips? Baseball players are selfish and should be forced to play tripleheaders for the rest of the season.

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here's what you missed in sports on Thursday.

• Blake Griffin tore his meniscus at a Team USA scrimmage and will miss the Olympic Games in London. Which is particularly sad when you consider that, aside from Dwight Howard, Russell Westbrook, Christopher Paul, James Harden, and maybe, maybe Tyson Chandler, he had the team's most British name.

Given the chance, I will ramble on for hours at a time about Major League Baseball's asinine blackout policy, and how it unfairly deprives me of Nationals and Orioles games, 250 miles southwest, here in Chapel Hill. Prior to 2012, the big problem for me was that I couldn't watch the 18 Yankees-Orioles games each season. That ranks pretty low on the tragedy totem, particularly since the Orioles were mostly terrible. And the Nationals? They barely merited a footnote in the whole discussion. Then Stephen Strasburg came back full-time from his Tommy John surgery, Gio Gonzalez was traded from the As, and suddenly the Nationals had the most exciting one-two punch in baseball. With the emergence of Bryce Harper, and the terrific third-spot pitching of Jordan Zimmermann, the city that had last won a World Series in 1924 and last made the postseason in 1933 was now home to a first-place team.

And in North Carolina, they weren't on TV. So this weekend, with Strasburg set to pitch Friday and Gonzalez in line for Saturday, in a three-game series with the Rockies, I decided to beat the blackout by driving up to D.C. to see them in person. If you've missed out on these guys so far, here's a quick recap: At the All-Star Break, they're top seven in WAR in baseball. Both have ERAs under 3.00, and are top three in FIP, trailing only Zack Greinke. Both are All-Stars (unlike Greinke), and both strike out batters at extremely high rates (first and third, respectively). I could go on, but you get the gist: These guys are really, really good.